ID:107851
 
I know this is probably riddled with grammar problems and what-not, and it probably makes no sense in a lot of areas. I'm a terrible writer, and don't plan to be a writer in the future. However, I am forced to take this English class for some reason, and they want me to write these stupid things so here it is.

Feel free to rip it to shreds, point out any and all errors, and just generally rip it to shreds. The teacher is pretty hardcore grammar nazi, so no matter how good it is, I'll likely still get a bad mark.

Also, it was written by 2 people, so something might contradict each other, I'm not sure.



Stop The Meter

Over the past few years large internet service providers such as Bell and Rogers have adopted a system called usage based billing. This system limits users' bandwidth to a gigabyte value, sometimes as low as 2 per month ranging all the way up to 200 or more. Once users exceed this bandwidth limit, they are charged extra on a per gigabyte basis.

When this system was first implemented the large providers already gained some major backlash from the user community. Smaller third party Internet Service Providers took this as an advantage and, though they were using the larger companies lines for their internet service, they could provide unlimited bandwidth.

This month the CRTC ( Canadian Radio-Television and Telecommunications Commission) passed a bill to allow all large ISPís to pass the same internet usage fees they were charging on its users down to the independent third party companies. Though they ruled that there had to be a 15% discount on the usage fees, this still forces independent companies to pass along the limited pay-per-byte bandwidth that the larger companies impose. The one advantage these small companies previously had, and the only way for users to get out of the Usage Based Billing system has now been squelched.

From a large Internet provider's point of view, moving to a fully usage-based billing system makes sense. More and More users are jumping on the high-bandwidth bandwagon, and lines are beginning to congest. Without some sort of usage limitation in place, according to the large companies, they would have to throttle your bandwidth down to a lower speed.

Over the years as technology has progressed, it has become faster and cheaper for companies to provide users with internet, however the price has seen a steady incline. Adding a usage fee on top of the price the end user has already paid, merely adds to the already high price.

Most households have at least one internet enabled device in every room, being cell phones, computers, televisions, gaming consoles, and even some refrigerators. All of these devices download software, patches, and updates daily-- sometimes even more often. Most of these devices are not equipped with the capability to monitor their bandwidth usage, forcing the user to attempt to calculate the accumulated usage in his or her head.

Out of all the users affected by this change, small Canadian companies that operate web-based services are receiving the brunt of the impact. The hosting they receive from the ISP's for their services will now cost them much more money to maintain, and they will have no options except to pass the bill onto their clients, or fall out of business.

With the trend heading in this direction, once the fees are imposed on the independent internet services, they will not be able to provide, and users will have no reason to go to them, since they offer nothing different from their parent providers. Eventually forcing the independent providers to go out of business. This will lead internet pricing to skyrocket, allowing only the wealthy to have accessible internet, leaving the average household offline.




=(
Well, as long as your teacher is an anti-Capitalist, anti-Globalist bleeding heart liberal-commie-Islamist who runs the local trade union and Socialist Workers Party, you should be fine.
If you have one of those English teachers that just seems to find something wrong in every single thing you turn in, you should take your paper to another actual English professor and have them check over it. That way when you turn it in and they find dozens of errors, you can tell them that Professor [insert name] proofread your paper and I'll be sure to inform him that you found several mistakes he didn't seem to be able to find.

My teacher from 5th grade told me he did this and he left his teacher speechless.
EmpirezTeam wrote:
If you have one of those English teachers that just seems to find something wrong in every single thing you turn in, you should take your paper to another actual English professor and have them check over it. That way when you turn it in and they find dozens of errors, you can tell them that Professor [insert name] proofread your paper and I'll be sure to inform him that you found several mistakes he didn't seem to be able to find.

My teacher from 5th grade told me he did this and he left his teacher speechless.

I can't imagine that ending well in any setting, much less a collegiate one.
Here's some suggestions:

"This system limits users' bandwidth"

"This Month the CRTC"

"quenched" - I don't think it means what you think it does ;)

"From a large Internets provider's point of view"

"moving to a fully Usage-based billing "

"Most households have at least one internet enabled device in every room, being cell phones, computers, televisions, gaming consoles, and even as far as some refrigerators being connected to the internet. All of these devices download software, patches, and updates daily--sometimes even more often. Most of these devices are not equipped with the capability to monitor their bandwidth usage, forcing the user to attempt to calculate the accumulated usage in his or her head."

"small Canadian based companies"

The last sentence is a bit of a slippery-slope, don't you think?

Also, if you need more content, I would recommend covering the increasing presence of the internet in education.

Some general tips from my high school days:
Watch your capitalization; avoid contractions; do not use "things", "you", "get", or "alot"; avoid repetition of words; and break up or reorganize awkward sentences. If you want to get really fancy, use sentence patterns.

Also, watch the second-person usage (no you or your). It should all be third-person.
I've made your modifications, and I think he meant "squelched" when he wrote "quenched".
ISPs*