Keywords: motivation
What the Hell happened to my development impetus? There's little left for me to do at the moment but pick up the pieces and try to figure it out:
  • Up until the 4th of January, development was going pretty well.

  • A week after that, the 11th of January, I'm writing an entry about how I had encountered writer's block. This had persisted on the 17th of January entry I made - that video would suggest I was also interested in playing Precusors, which I did.

    • About that time, the bubonic plague struck. Well, okay, not the bubonic plague, just a really nasty chronic cold that completely wiped me out for several weeks. The same bug made my muscles ache, gave my brother a sinus infection, and gave my mom pneumonia, it was a real bastard.

    • Also about that time, I heard about Rift. At first, I discounted it as being a worthless World of Warcraft clone doomed to vanish beneath its shadow like so many WoW clones before it. Then I read about the dynamic content end game - I'd been wanting something like that for a very long time, and suddenly I was very interested.

  • By the 5th of February, I reported that I was over my cold, but that I was still recovering from all the damage it did. Around this time, I was largely anxiously hoping to be invited into the next Rift event, which happened about once a week for 3-4 days. I participated in the last three betas (including the open beta). The time between the events probably would have been a good time to get some development done, but I largely stuck to forums and anime.

  • About February 21-23th, conveniently between the end of Rift open beta but before the head start, I was heavily occupied with helping out my sister while she was in town. She's often raising her 1 and 1/2 year old first born whilst her hubby is away on business as so offers me a bit of green to lend her a hand, which is a godsend for a fellow without any income. She also needed help getting her apartment cleaned out.

  • February 24th, it's snowing outside, the Rift Head Start began, and I participated eagerly.

  • February 27th, sore throat, headache, swollen glands... I could no longer deny the symptoms: I was down with another nasty chronic cold. I suspect my sister and her baby boy, who had just recovered from a cold, had imported it fresh from Seattle, just for me, and the incubation period had finally come to a head.

    The symptoms weren't quite as severe as the one I had a month before: no muscle aches, just feeling wiped out, my nose running most of the time, at times headachy or with a sore throat. I was so tired, I couldn't even play Rift some days, I just relaxed and tried to enjoy some anime.

  • March 5th, this second cold has largely run its course. Judging by how inflamed my sinuses became, feeling like raw nerves sometimes, they were probably infected. Still blowing my nose a bit, but I'm not feeling nearly as miserable.
Throughout it all, I have to wonder: if I were any kind of game developer, wouldn't I have powered through this and produced something?

I've been doing a terrible job lately. I haven't even been looking for work, which is silly considering I'm fully aware I can't very well bum off my parents forever.

I'm working on getting my shit in gear. I'm just damn discouraged considering how things have been going lately.
Breath, relax, life offers plenty of time to get everything done... just not all at once. ;) You don't want to force it, that makes it 10x worse. Wait for inspiration.

From experience... large project where you want to make the most amazing experiences tend to sap all motivation.

Consider some smaller/silly (but cool) projects that take a weekend to produce.

It is supposed to be a fun hobby after all. :)

Hmm, smaller/silly (but cool/fun) projects that may be done in a weekend, you say?

An interesting prospect, I'll have to put some consideration towards it.

I think I'm naturally inclined towards attempting epic but, if I can come up with something cool, that's a pretty good substitute.
I've been having some luck with libraries. I can use them in demos and small projects until I work them into something bigger. It's progress towards something even if that something isn't well-defined.
It's hard man. When I first started I had tons of motivation and was programming all day and night.

Now that I'm actually pretty good at it, I open dream maker up just to close it right away. I have no motivation to program anything.