How to Program like a Gangsta

ID:1687928
 
Sep 27 2014, 6:01 am
You wanna be a programmer? You think you've got what it takes, kid? You're wrong. Go back to Mommy and eat your PB&J. Yer not cut out for this.

Still not leavin'? I like that look in yer eyes, kid. Alright, if you think you've got what it takes, I'll teach you how to program like a gangsta.

So the first thing you need to remember is that when it comes to people, the mob always comes first. You < the mob. Your boyz < the mob. Your mother, father, sister, brother < the mob. The mob ALWAYS comes first. Remember that.
mob

Now if you want to program your gangstas into the game, you've got some options. See mobs like to spread out over large distances if they can. Expand their region of control, yanno? So we make mini mobs, for the people that made it past high school math, we'd call them subsets. Like this.
mob
  baller

All ballers are part of the mob but not everything in the mob is a baller. They don't align because the baller < the mob, the must pay his respects.

So what we've got here is a baller that belongs to the mob. I chose the baller because I'm gonna consider this community outreach and it's easier to recruit when people watch your ballers go at it. And while we're on this topic, I'm gonna remind you that b-ball is the most gangsta of sports. If you don't play b-ball, you need to get outta here before I call my boys. What? You don't think I can do that? Watch me.
mob
  baller

  verb/call_boyz( )

What I've just done is made a verb. Verb comes from the old gangsta term "word", which means to smack down some mad rhymes. So when I put that verb there, I'm really making a call_boyz "word". That ( ) at the end, you know what that is? No? Kids these days. That's the b-ball man. The b-ball gives power to your words. He with the greatest game can lay down the greatest smack. Naturally, anyone in the mob can call their boyz, so it is spaced out to pay respect to the entire mob, not just the ballers.

Right now calling boyz doesn't do anything, I've defined the word but there is no smack in the word. So we're gonna fix that.

mob
  baller

  verb/call_boyz( )
    view( ) << "Yo dawgs, let's show our friend the door."


Now if any of my boys are in my view, they'll hear my call and come back me up. They have to be in my view, not yours because I'm the one calling them out.

That enough for ya kid? You think you got what it takes to keep going? We'll be watching ya, and if you turn out to be legit, we might send you a word. Word.
Sep 27 2014, 7:18 am
You'll need

world/mob = /mob/baller


or they'll nvr hav N.E boyz 2 cal , better program sum milkshakes
Sep 27 2014, 4:16 pm
That was definitely creative haha. Nice!
Sep 27 2014, 6:58 pm
In response to Kozuma3
Kozuma3 wrote:
You'll need

world/mob = /mob/baller

or they'll nvr hav N.E boyz 2 cal , better program sum milkshakes
Anyone in the mob can call_boyz. Why be a baller when you can be the mob?
Sep 27 2014, 7:09 pm
In response to Lavitiz
Lavitiz wrote:
Kozuma3 wrote:
You'll need

world/mob = /mob/baller

or they'll nvr hav N.E boyz 2 cal , better program sum milkshakes
Anyone in the mob can call_boyz. Why be a baller when you can be the mob?

Shhhhh I derped :B
Sep 27 2014, 7:20 pm
Sep 27 2014, 7:45 pm
In response to Lavitiz
Lavitiz wrote:
Kozuma3 wrote:
You'll need

world/mob = /mob/baller

or they'll nvr hav N.E boyz 2 cal , better program sum milkshakes
Anyone in the mob can call_boyz. Why be a baller when you can be the mob?

Don't be forgetting dat ballers be in the mob so dey can call_boyz( ) too.
Sep 27 2014, 10:22 pm
In response to Lugia319
Lugia319 wrote:
Lavitiz wrote:
Kozuma3 wrote:
You'll need

world/mob = /mob/baller

or they'll nvr hav N.E boyz 2 cal , better program sum milkshakes
Anyone in the mob can call_boyz. Why be a baller when you can be the mob?

Don't be forgetting dat ballers be in the mob so dey can call_boyz( ) too.

Foe Sho!

I like this, I'm sure it helps the ghetto thugs of Byond. It's in their own language, bruh.
Oct 11 2014, 6:09 pm
Alright kid, you've got a grasp on it, but your code is all one-direction, and like the band, it's total crap. So we're gonna have to fix that.

So the last time I showed you how to give respect to the mob when making some words and types of people in the mob. And if you tried to keep giving respect, you'd probably get some errors. You're probably being told something about improper indentation. And when you figured out the issue (which I'm sure you have, yer a smart kid after all) you'll have noticed that you can't split paths. The same thing will happen no matter what. Well here's how ya fix it.

if()

The if essentially boils down to a yes or no answer to the yes or no question inside the ball. It's almost like a magic 8-ball but we're ballers, so we use the b-ball.
if(money > 100)

This is just a statement asking if the value of money is greater than 100. No big deal right? This allows you to check one condition. But what if you want to check multiple conditions? What if you want to see if money is greater than 100 AND coke is less than 5? Well in that case, we've got to use some operators. You know what operators are, right? They're like the guy that drives the getaway van when you've just pulled off a legit heist. In this case, we're gonna use the bro-hug operator.

if(money > 100 && coke < 5)
  src << "We have more than 100 dollahs and less than 5g coke"

The && is the bro-hug operator. The only way for a bro-hug to occur is if both bros agree to the hug. If either bro doesn't want to hug, no hug happens. If the other bro tries to hug the non-consenting bro, bet yo grass someone's gonna get a cap in dey fazz.

But what if you don't need two conditions to be true. What if you only need one to be true? Well for that, we use the knife-fight operator.

if(money > 100 || coke < 5)
  src << "Either we have more than 100 dollahs or less than 5g coke"

|| is the knife-fight operator.

Now the thing you need to remember about the knife-fight is that it plays out like any fight on the street plays out. You're with your boys, and you come across some other guys you don't like with their boys. Now it has been a long night, you've both gotten laid the previous night and you left your knives at the lady's house for whatever reason (always carry your knife, remember Jackson's Beat It), does a fight break out? Nawwww man. No one has their knives and a fist fight doesn't quite cut it.

On the other hand, what if you both have knives? Well if you both have knives, you're both gonna pounce on each other and see who draws blood first. And if only one of you have a knife, then you're gonna attack the defenseless foe foe sho. You have a knife, he doesn't, that's an easy fight. You remove dat scum from the earth. And he's thinking the same thing.

So the only way a knife-fight doesn't happen is if no one has a knife. Remember that.

Hope that'll keep you running, kid.
Oct 11 2014, 8:22 pm
LMFAO. This better be in Within BYOND #5.
Oct 12 2014, 4:54 am
Within BYOND ain't ready for this.