After hours of searching I happened upon a $630 sale on NewEgg Product.aspx?Item=N82E16834315927

and picked up this for good measure ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I am BYOND stocked (see what I did there.) My current laptop has integrated graphics and was made in 2012. The speakers are blown, the frame around the monitor has broken off, both hinges have broken off, the CD drive is broken, the rubber grips to keep it elevated from overheating all snapped off, the spacebar has been replaced, and it frequently disconnects from the internet without reason.
That's all you need. Try to do some research into affiliate marketing.
In response to Escapen321
Haha, what? Are you implying I'm being paid to advertise my purchase?
Laptops are so oldschool, everyone knows netbooks/chromebooks will take over in generations to come.
Amazon's sales are so op. This brings me hope.