Personally I can't stand Chuck Norris, very lame in my opinion. In fact I figure I'll throw a little list together for you of some real Chuck Norris facts, both that I've heard and that I've decided to reveal myself.
The real Chuck Norris Facts
1) When Chuck Norris jumps in a pond he doesn't get wet... the water gets soiled.
2) It's no coincidence that Chuck Norris and Michael Jackson have never appeared in public together.
3) Brokeback Mountain was originally titled "The Biography of Walker: Texas Ranger"
4) Chuck Norris has no friends on MySpace. Not even Tom.
5) Chuck Norris is so old his memory is in black and white.
6) Chuck Norris is so ugly, the last time he got a piece of ass was when his hand slipped through the toilet paper.
7) Chuck Norris was born a quadruplet to his Ego, his Talent, and his Intelligence. Sadly the latter two were stillborns.
8) According to his opinion on Religion, Chuck Norris refuses to believe in Evolution until he catches up with the rest of us.
9) Chuck Norris's semen can cure cancer, too bad he has AIDS.
10) Chuck Norris masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Now it's time to blow up an orphanage.