...of how not to make a rogue-like.
I saw the banner rotating around on the BYOND developer forums. PMUR. It sounded familiar, but off the top of my head I didn't know what it was, so I thought I'd give it a click. "A roguelike developed in under 20kb code-size" says the hub page. I don't remember ever trying this game before - although I probably did and just forgot. But its listed as a favorite through Dungeon Crawlers, so I thought I'd give it a try.
Okay, I did actually read (most of) the instructions that popup when you first start the game. So in all fairness, I know this game isn't complete. (Its still in alpha, and at the rate its going it probably always will be.) You only get to choose the one class, so really you don't get to choose a class, and the random dungeon generating is less than ideal.
New game started. Its pretty much what I'd expect from a rogue-like. I have my character, and there are rooms full of monsters and loot scattered around each level. So I started off collecting loot and slaying monsters. Collecting loot consists of just stepping on it, and slaying monsters consists of bumping into them. If you want, you can be clever in maneuvering so that you can have the first strike again the monsters, and so that you'll only ever be within the reach of one monster at a time. These monsters also aren't very smart and they won't walk around walls or go around each other, so its very easy to get them all bunched up.
Soon I'm on my third dungeon level and my third character level. I've slain a good number of monsters which all seem to be very much alike (walk my general direction, bump into me, die shortly thereafter). At this point, though, some aspects of the game that seemed innocent on level 1 are starting to get obnoxious.
First of all, the dungeons consist of writhing, twisted tunnels. They simply are not fun to walk through, and since there are never any monsters or items in them (although there are often potions at the end), they only serve to make the game more tedious.
To make matters worse, your movement is restricted so that you can't walk very fast. Now keep in mind, this is a single player turn based game. Why in the world a turn based game would need to restrict the player's movement is beyond me. But because of this, making your way through the very long, twisted tunnels that often end up returning to their place of origin is even more tedious.
At this point in the game, I find myself not being so careful around the monsters anymore. Perhaps I'm hoping to die so this game will end.
Having finally reached the 4th dungeon level after roughly 10 minutes of tediously crawling through the winding passages of misery on the 3rd level, it occurs to me that he must have programmed this game to generate the exit stairway only after you've explored every room on the level. Then it must automatically appear in the very last room that you explore. Because that's how it happens every time.
It should be pointed out that there are only two reasons why I've even progressed this far. One is the diminishing hope that there may yet be something interesting to discover further in the dungeon. Two is because I'm valiantly striving to find a better screen shot for the start of this post.
I don't know how long this game continues, but I'm not eager to find out. I've had enough gaming agony for today. Even if I could save my progress, then hack my savefile and turn myself into a demigod before coming back to finish this game, I wouldn't do it. You couldn't make me.
Delgertome, if you're still around, I'm sorry. I suppose you had good intentions. But this game is just awful. I sincerely encourage everyone not to play it unless they're a fan of masochism. The scary thing is that this was considered a favorite in the Dungeon Crawlers guild. Now I'd be afraid to play any of their other games. Maybe that's why nobody has posted there for so long.