It doesn't *seem* rude, Forum_account, it is rude. You made a dick post. You used the dickishness to try to establish what you consider to be a fact (neglect) and then you went on to speculate and propose actions, but that doesn't eliminate the dickishness.

If I opened a conversation with you with SERIOUSLY, MAN, WHAT THE F*#! IS WRONG WITH YOU? and then went on to try to diagnose where our communication problem is and resolve it, that wouldn't change the fact that I shouted and swore at you.

The rest of the post was condescending and heavy-handed, but even if it had been sweetness and light it would still be a dick post.

As for this conversation:

The fact that you're looking for a "needle in a haystack" to make "everything" I've said fall into place tells me you're still not getting it.

The line you're using as the rosetta stone to unlock the mystery of this whole post and my comments? That line is referring only to the parts in my comments about how BYOND could grow. Which actually weren't all that ambiguous. I mean, there I was talking about how BYOND could grow. I didn't cloak it in metaphor.

The whole point of this post (as in the actual main post at the top of the screen that we're commenting on) was just to express my gratitude to the staff. That's all.

See, some guy I already wasn't a huge fan of wrote a post that read like a hit piece and instead of sitting there and arguing with him forever it prompted me to say something positive.

And then what happens? Well, the same guys comes in to this post, claps me on the back and says, "I'm glad you agree! Certainly you must also admit that a bunch of stuff you think is wrong is also true!"

Aggravating, right?

And since then I have been responding to things that guy said.

When he talk about how to grow BYOND or what BYOND needs, I respond with what I think is wrong about his approach and what I think might work instead. When he talks about other things, I respond about other things.

It's a conversation. It doesn't have a formal structure. Some of the points relate more strongly to other points, some less so. The results aren't going to be a policy paper or a statement of intent.

I've got at least three people who instead of reading what I'm writing and just taking what I say at face value are acting like I'm being all coy and mysterious (and strangely it's because I go on at length rather than being tight-lipped about what I think), and one of those people is the person I'm talking to.

So my attempt to do something positive to counteract your dickishness and avoid pissing away an afternoon on you has pretty much backfired, but at this point I'm done. Your "No wonder it seems rude!" is just too... ugh. I feel like you're patting me on the head, and it's not just condescending, it's infuriating because you appear to have no idea how human beings actually communicate among themselves and yet you're talking down to me about it.

Well, I'm done. More to the point, you are.

No.

You aren't coming here to argue with me about that.

I said it wasn't as bad as Falacy earlier in the thread. I recognized that he meant well. But better than Falacy isn't the same thing as "polite" or "considerate", or even "not an attack."

I don't know how Tom took it, and I don't care as I didn't really set out to publicly accuse him of rudeness. I'm not the target so it really isn't my place. I saw negativity so I made a positive post to counter that, which is an appropriate response.

I'm only bringing it up now because 30+ comments in he's made it clear he has no idea where I'm coming from, and because I'm more than a little frustrated with the fact that he hijacked my "How BYOND is awesome!" post to tack on his "And this is what they should be doing to fix all that!" hobbyhorse.