Hey, if you have an alternative plan to keep yourself afloat in the event that you get fired, I would definitely tell the guy the truth. One less person being lied to by companies like this is better than nothing.

Lawful evil:

Tell the truth; sue for wrongful termination upon firing, settle for 12 months back wages and an NDA.

Plot thickens: After you hang up, you hear a loud crash from across the office. You stand up to peak over your cubicle and notice it came from your supervisor's office. It turns out he was listening to your phone call and heard you suggest Uber Insurance to the customer. The noise was actually him flipping his desk across his office in a fit of rage.

You carefully slump back into your seat. It's at this precise moment you realize you're in deep shit. Beads of sweat emerge from the pores on your forehead, and you begin gnawing on your finger nails as if they were an excellent source of nutrients. Immediately, you begin thinking about the lie you're going to tell your supervisor. "I completely forgot we're supposed to suggest Super Insurance over our competitors.", "The customer seemed to like me so he'll probably choose our service anyway.", "Obama made me do it."

Before you can even think of a fourth fib, suddenly you feel the hot breath of your supervisor rushing down your neck. Behind you stands a behemoth of a man - a 7 foot, 350lb mass of terrifying muscle. Your fight or flight response kicks in and then quickly shuts back off because you completely accept the reality that you can neither fight off nor escape the impending doom at this point.

"Pick up the phone." You obey his command without hesitation. In fact, that was probably the fastest you've ever picked up a phone in your god damn life. "Call the customer back, and tell them you made a slight miscalculation. Reassure them that Super Insurance is the best option for them, then hang up the phone. If you refuse, so help me God, I will dismantle you beyond recognition and then upload a picture of the aftermath to my Facebook account for the world to see."

Do you:

1. Prove you have balls and take your thrashing like a man.

2. Stain your underwear and then obey the order.

But no, I just thought I'd make this post because I just applied for a few jobs today and these are the types of scenarios that pop into my mind for no apparent reason.

1, but stain my underwear in the process

I want to say I would just balls up and take the beating, but in reality it depends on where I am.

You said there are cubicles, so that means you have co-workers around in other cubicles. That's a good thing, because they can stop him before things go too far.

But if you're working in a place with a lot of younger people, you are also taking quite a risk with that assumption, as they are more likely to just take out their phones and record it. Your boss will be fired from all of the evidence, but you won't have anyone stopping him in the meantime. You just have to hope you end up in a repairable shape.

So it really comes down to how well you know your co-workers, and if you trust them to get him off you before it gets out of hand. You can heal a few bruises and a broken nose, and teeth getting knocked out isn't the end of the world. Plus you get that sweet satisfaction of seeing him locked up and probably getting worker's compensation.

ET would do well writing for Cracked.

Kumorii wrote:

ET would do well writing for Cracked.

If I knew what Cracked was.

How do you?

Take off my pants, and underwear and fight him naked.