Here's a couple of calls that didn't make the cut for the commercials.
Call #1:
MISS CLEO: I see here in de ace of spades...
CALLER: Ace of spades???
MISS CLEO: Bear wit' me, honey, Miss Cleo's tarot deck is in de shop... I see here de ace of spades, crossed with de seven of diamonds.
CALLER: So what do you think I should do?
MISS CLEO: Stand.
Call #2:
MISS CLEO: De stars have arrayed a powerful adversary against you wit' de cards. Dey have de king of wands crossed with de six of pentacles.
CALLER: Oh, no! Is there anything I can do?
MISS CLEO: Be tappin' your forest for mana, and cast Giant Growth on your Spined Wurm, he should make quick work of that bastard.
Call #3:
MISS CLEO: I'll start by naming de cards dat control de lives of those around you.
CALLER: Which card controls my life?
MISS CLEO: You call five times today already. All de cards be controlling your life.
ID:193983
 Sep 5 2001, 7:35 pm (Edited on Sep 5 2001, 7:46 pm)
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Thanks. In the original version of this, I had this as two separate calls... in one, the substitute deck was the extent of the joke, and in the blackjack one, it was the ace of swords and the seven of pentacles... but I decided it was more accessible with the two gags layered this way.
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Call #1: Completely over my head until I read you second post. o_O Otherwise, hehehe. | |
See, that's what I was talking about. It's hard enough to recognize that this a blackjack hand even with regular cards.
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I liked the Magic: The Gathering one...
Just a question. Why not cast Monsterous growth instead of Giant growth? Or, even better, cast Invigorating Winds and give him +9/+9! | |
Lord of Water wrote:
I liked the Magic: The Gathering one... Yes, and I will tap my 2 mana, cast fear and kill your +9+9. =) I think its fear, cant quit remember, havnt played for a year or two. | |
Itn't that Revolution of the Weak?
Fear is 1 and 3 black, and gives them -1/-3, if I remember right. That might be weakness... revolution of the Weak is 1 and a white, and destroys target creature with power larger then 4/4. | |
Ok well I'll just use my Swords of Plowshare (1 white, 1 colourless) to destroy any creature. Creatures owner gains life points equal to the creaters toughness. So clever players would cast it on their own creatures to gain health.
Hmm, now i think about it, i think it only took 1 white mana. | |
Lord of Water wrote:
Itn't that Revolution of the Weak? Isn't there a 2-black-mana spell called Terror or some such which will bury a creature outright, no restrictions? | |
Terror destroys any card outright. So does a card called Dark Banishing, but it has an extra limitation. I believe neither can destroy black creatures, and DB can't destroy artifact creatures. I could be wrong, though. It's been about a year since I played, and about three since I played regularly.
I believe Weakness does -3/-1. Fear, IIRC, makes a creature unblockable except by black creatures. Most of my decks have contained black, so I'm fairly familar with black cards. -AbyssDragon | |
That's swords to plowshares. It's not a magic weapon but a saying that refers to disarmament. In times of war, farm implements were hastily converted to weapons (why do you think a trident looks like a pitchform?), and so when peace theoretically did arrive, it would seem logical to convert weapons into farm implements.
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For the sake of academic rigor, here's the original quote...
Isaiah 2:4: And he shall judge among the nations, and shall rebuke many people: and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruninghooks: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more. | |
Gughunter wrote:
For the sake of academic rigor, here's the original quote... That's not likely the original source. The Bible, whatever the source of its message, was written in language that the people understood... which would mean that phrases and figures of speech it uses would have been common in its day. Considering that the beating of plowshares into swords was a worldwide cultural phenomenon, I find it hard to believe that thinkers weren't talking about the reverse as a metaphor for peace before there was a widespread written language to spread it to. The Bible also says something about an eye for an eye, but it's quoting a Mesopotamian code of law that dates back (in written form)to Hammurabi. | |
That's not likely the original source. Fair enough. It's the oldest source I can cite at the moment, though. :) | |
Talk about taking things too far (picks up his cards and storms off)...
Lord of Water "Hey, wait a minute Botman, you took my ante card as well! Give it back!" Botman "Erm... *runs away*" | |
Ah, the good ole days of Magic: TG... heeh... I really should sort through my cards! I had lots...
Green Giant.. or something like that. Con flabbit! Now you've all made me want to get my cards. Ah, the joy of putting your friend's Steel Knights into a Vice... grin | |
Vortezz wrote:
Ah, the good ole days of Magic: TG... heeh... I really should sort through my cards! I had lots... Ive got some cards laying around, but no one to play with *whines* I want my discard deck back *whines*, mebbe I should dl the computer version. Hmm, so much better seeing their face as you put down 2 scrolls and hymn twice, after putting (cant remember card) card which deals damage to whoever discards a card Alathon | |
Vortezz wrote:
Ah, the good ole days of Magic: TG... heeh... I really should sort through my cards! I had lots... My brother was the one that got into magic cards he tryed to teach me but I would start to learn and beat him so he stoped doing that. Hmm he had over 10,000 cards and I ahem burned them in a younger brother rage...Evil Grin Holding a lighter | |
That's the good one.
And better advice than you'll ever get in the real case!