Hi..this is the worst questino i could possibly ask but how do you fully shut down a server?

I have abit of knowledge, you put in Exit __ but idk how to get the list up to see what games im hosting then get the Exit ___ number. plz help? XD
First you need to get the PID of the process the game is running on.

ps ax|grep Dream

Now you can use the "kill" command to send a term signal to the process, type "DreamDaemon" with no arguments to see what SIGTERM signals are caught by the program (listed near the bottom)
Is there really no "graceful" method to stop a BYOND instance? Using kill really doesn't seem like the most wonderful option.
The "kill" command doesn't imply you're killing the process, it implies you're sending a signal to that process and allowing the process to do something based on that signal. There's a forceful signal which does an ungraceful exit (if things are locked up), there's a graceful exit which will gracefully close the game down as if you shut it down properly, and there's a reboot signal that will gracefully reboot the world.
Couldn't you just do:

pkill DreamDaemon

If you want to kill every instance of DD that your account is running sure. "killall DreamDaemon" would work for that too.