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If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. So particular, that they are completely useless. Skills I have acquired in the most basic of senses, over a surprisingly long but unsuccessful career. Skills that make me a nightmare for the quality department. If you admit your generosity now that'll be the end of it.

I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you and I will show you terrible code.