Every geeky twelve year old, rolling sexless in his bed at night, is convinced that the mere happenstance of the cannibalistic dead rising from their graves would be enough to galvanize him into the greatest badass the world has ever known.
The world that's against them — parents, teachers, the farting, braying school yard alpha male — become mindless, flesh-slavering ghouls. Better yet, all these jerks can now be displaced with a minimum of moral self-examination: a machete to the brain, or a screwdriver jammed into an ear canal, or a single blast of sawed-off shotgun exploding a putrescent, hamburger-stuffed melon. Zombies are actually p-zombies: big lumbering blister bags of gore that can be satisfyingly popped without any qualms.
And just who survives when the dead walk the earth? The ability to toss a football, endowment of bulging biceps and clear complexions — none of that matters in a zombie apocalypse. What matters is being crafty and well-prepared. The medium of zombie movies encourages the feverishly dreaming geek to cast himself as the hero, because in zombie films everyone is a stupid idiot, well-deserving a fate of having their intestines scooped like ropes of dripping playdough into the mouth of a corpse. Who hasn't watched a zombie movie and thought "Pfft! I can do better than that idiot."
- John Brownlee
So here's your chance to live a role of a hero and survive.
contact me at: Chelseaaxoxbabi@hotmail.com
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