ID:192880
 
1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Florida driver never uses them. If you see a turn signal, it only means the bulb is good.

2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered going with the flow.

4. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

5. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will inevitably result in you being rear ended. If you want your insurance company to pay for a new rear bumper, come to a complete stop at all stop signs.

6. A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.

7. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. Florida is a no-fault insurance state and the other guy doesn't have anything to lose.

8. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

9. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.

10. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable in Florida during rush hour.

11. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

12. Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during rush-hour traffic in Florida

13. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire.

14. Learn to swerve abruptly. Florida is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the State Highway Department, which puts potholes in locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.

15. It is traditional in Florida to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes.

16. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding.

17. Remember that the goal of every Florida driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.

18. Real Florida women drivers can put on pantyhose and apply eye makeup at seventy-five miles per hour or in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

19. Real Florida men drivers can remove their girlfriend's panties and bra at seventy-five miles per hour or in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

20. In the Florida area 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a polite New Jersey salute. This gesture should always be returned.

(Sad thing is, a good amount of this is true.)
..... wow.... you just litterally summed up Florida's driving. Every other place I've been to is allot better than the driving in florida which is where I currently live.
In response to Geo (#1)
Lucky.. Stuck up here in old Canada Eh? It's aboot time we got some good weather. Start of May and It's snowing in Saskatchewan, Hail yesterday.
In response to Geo (#1)
If you don't mind me asking, what city do you live in? I live in Jacksonville.
In response to Cinnom (#3)
Cinnom wrote:
If you don't mind me asking, what city do you live in? I live in Jacksonville.

Lakeland, not too bad a place, just wish the arcade has a DDR 5th mix or any DDR machine and better games, although time crisis 2 is pretty fun.
That made my day, you got some funny stuff there.
In response to Geo (#1)
Geo wrote:
Every other place I've been to is allot better than the
driving in florida which is where I currently live.

You've clearly never been to New York or Boston then. :)

My sister (who lives in Boston) was just in an accident tonight. She was in the left hand lane with her blinker on, turning left. The Ford Explorer behind her attempted to pass her ON THE LEFT. Nobody was hurt, but the other driver managed to take off her mirror, and total the front driver-side of her car.

Turns out the Ford Explorer had four police cars travelling in a convoy with him. The driver of the Explorer was the mayor of Cambridge. He and the cops had just come from some gala event. Needless to say, he had had quite a few cocktails at the event. Also, needless to say, the cops all pointed their fingers at my sister, and said it was her fault. No breathalyzer test was performed.

Nice, huh?

Regards,
Corporate Dog
Heh... A lot of that applies to Michigan drivers, too...

Good thing I'm from Ohio, where we all drive perfectly...lol (just kidding, of course... but in my personal experience...we're collectively better drivers than anywhere else I've ever been)
In response to SuperSaiyanGokuX (#7)
Ahh I am an ohioan too. Man I-75 and I-70 intersection way north from way I live is bad.... Crashes left and right yet only 3 deaths the whole year...
In response to SuperSaiyanGokuX (#7)
Good thing I'm from Ohio, where we all drive perfectly...lol (just kidding, of course... but in my personal experience...we're collectively better drivers than anywhere else I've ever been)

That's just because you have to put up with roads that contain more pothole than road. When your constantly driving mere seconds away from death and bodily harm, you learn to react quickly.

-AbyssDragon
Heh, not only do I live in Florida, I'm in Gainseville, home of 2 colleges and 50-60 thousand inconsiderate, drunk, 'Mom and Dad paid for my car and insurance' college students. It's brutal. I refuse to drive within 5 miles of campus between August and May. Summer vacation is only semi-suicidal.
In response to AbyssDragon (#9)
Actually, around here there really aren't that many bad roads... The only problem we have is that there's a state of perpetual road work in this area... There isn't a single day out of the year in which there isn't one or more major roads lined with orange barrels...lol
In response to Corporate Dog (#6)
You've clearly never been to New York or Boston then. :)

Nope, I don't think I even passed it when me and my grandparents and aunt drive all the way to maine for the family reunion. Maine actually has pretty good drivers. I've also been to Texas.
In response to Corporate Dog (#6)
Yeah, my girlfriend is from New York... her opinion of Nebraska drivers is that they cause accidents by not driving aggressively enough... for instance, if everyone sped through the intersection instead of stopping when the light changed, no one would get rear-ended.