It's that sort of stuff that drove me to create the Better Angels blog, with an upfront policy requiring civility.
But then I wonder, why do I continue to allow myself to be called names and misrepresented in this space, my own damn space where I even wrote the original code, where I have a history and where my heart resides?
Then I see Megan McArdle, one of my favorite bloggers who is influential to me, going through the same struggle. She's always prided herself in allowing people to say whatever they wish about her on her blog, but even she has come to see there are limits, and her new policy makes perfect sense to me:
Starting tomorrow, comments are going to be policed and deleted. With the election coming on, the signal to noise ratio has gone from about 50/50 to about 10/90. My old commenters miss the civil discussion that used to take place at my old website, and so do I...
I could lay out all sorts of rules, but the rule I'll mainly be using is really fairly simple: if you wouldn't say it to my face, or the face of the commenter you're addressing, don't say it here. Imagine you're at a debate tournament, or a cocktail party. If what you're about to say would get you thrown out of either, can it or I will. And repeat offenders will be banned.
I'm also going to delete/ban commenters--you know who you are (and if you don't, you're about to find out) who drive things in circles by getting into long pointless arguments about trivia where they refuse to concede any ground.
For the first time, the comments that simply communicate the commenter's deep hatred and/or contempt of me are also going. I am sure I will be accused of stifling debate, of suppressing criticism of me. So be it. A significant fraction of the comments now consists of some variation on "You stupid, ignorant bitch, why aren't you writing what I want you to write?" I am now fully conversant with two facts:
1. Many lefty commenters think that I am a stupid, ignorant bitch.
2. I am not writing things they want to read.
Still not clear on why they're reading the things they don't like to read, but hey, to each his own. Anyway, I don't think there is any further value to be gleaned by repetition of these sentiments. And they destroy the thread when other commenters respond.
I am also going to delete flame comments from my supporters, even if they are merely responding to the trolls. Dealing with trolls is my job.
I'm not trying to wring the spirit from the debate--you can be as vicious as you like about peoples' ideas. But the minute you say anything that even smacks of rudeness about the commenters themselves, I'm going to delete it if I see it. (And if you think I've missed one, please point it out). I also reserve the right to delete comments for any other reason. I am going entirely on my judgement, and there is no appeal. I encourage those who cannot live with this to start their own blog, where they can spout bile to their heart's content.
I can't think of any way to improve on her policy, so that is now the policy of this blog (and I call on other BYONDers to adopt it for their own blog).
Up to now I've tried to take the high road and simply not engage with this kind of crap, but that is tiring in its own way. So from now on I'll engage with everyone who posts on the blog, and those who can't be engaged with will be gone.
I should stop there, but I can't resist letting off a bit of steam, built up over months of practicing undue tolerance:
If you can't engage in discussion without name calling, character assassination, and projecting your own twisted view of humanity onto me, then that says everything about you and nothing about me.
You can fuck off.
There, it's said. Now on to civility!