- The GSDC2011 caught me flat-footed, it was 2-weeks over before I even begun.
- I've been distracted with helping friends and family members and this has been disruptive to my attempts to self-motivate.
- My GSDC2011 was my GSDC2010. My GSDC2010 was largely failed because I decided this was not the kind of game I wanted to make. I had forgotten that, and it still hasn't changed. I basically was trying to eliminate design as a factor by emulating an existing game, Leftley's Lode Wars, but the trouble emerged that this was his Own Net Dream, not mine.
- The only real incentive to complete the GSDC2011 was my own satisfaction anyway.
This kind of procrastination is a psychological problem, and the causes will vary from individual to individual. In many cases, procrastination is driven by a fear of failure or social stigma. I don't particularly give a damn about either. I could believe that I'm a perfectionist - it would certainly explain my desire to keep tweaking instead of releasing. However, even there, it's rather tricky, because I can logically fathom and subscribe to the fact that perfection is a fairy tale. So the trouble remains that I've yet to completely isolate what it is that makes my particular brand of procrastination tick.
It's such a damn tough nut to crack that lately I've turned to seeking professional help about it. I've even attempted "better living through chemistry" via having prescribed for me Wellbutrin but, thus far, the stuff hasn't changed anything for me. It might have had a day or two of effectiveness, but that was it. It might kick in later (it can take up to 6 weeks sometimes) but if not I guess that's simply not addressing whatever the cause is.
This much is certain: my GSDC'11 has not received any serious attention since about May 18th, it's just been several days of failing to get back to it and, with only two days left, I'm not going to stop lying to myself and (through extension) everybody else and simply drop out this year.