ID:118526
 
Keywords: motivation
I decided to taper off my use of BuSpar, that new med I was given a couple weeks ago, on account of how I read up on it and decided that the cons outweighed the pros. I did not want to get dependent on a substance I can't quit cold turkey, my bladder was perpetually overstimulated, and I ran a small possibility of developing a permanent muscular disorder. Yeah, screw that, I can deal with minor generalized anxiety.

God, I'm bored. I'm not sure if it's a result of coming down off the BuSpar or what. (If it is, good thing I started to stop taking it at 15mg, when the dose was eventually going to be twice as much.) Now, I'm trying to figure out what to do in order to make life seem worthwhile. (No, don't interpret that as me being the least bit suicidal: I meant that literally.)


It seems I've underwent a major life transition at about the time I discovered pony. I used to entertain myself by playing lots of video games... and I was perpetually frustrated by how few seemed to entertain me. Now, I mostly entertain myself with brony-related browsing. I can track this major change of habit to three things:
  1. Games generally don't entertain me anymore. I'm immune to caring about grinding for lootz or graphics, so the game mechanic is all that matters. A game has to be at least Deus Ex: Human Revolution good, in terms of meaningful interaction, or forget it.
  2. My independent game development allowed me to look behind the curtain and see just how hard it is to solve that problem.
  3. The ponies are oddly addictive.
If you want to recommend a game for me to play, then you don't understand the severity of what I'm up against.

Last week, I invested my ambition in creatively realizing myself in writing fiction. I might have mentioned this before, but the nice thing about fiction is that it's a heck of a lot easier to revise the work actively than game development is. (Maybe I need to improve my game development methodology?)

What kind of fiction? Pony fiction, of course. It's not that I particularly had a burning need for exalting pony, it's just that I needed something to make myself feel like I was doing something worthwhile. The result did not set the world on fire, but the reception was generally favorable, although I'm a little depressed I got a little carried away and dug myself over-deep in a few major plot points.

Season 2 of MLP:FIM starts this Saturday. Am I excited? I don't really know. Sure, it's more pony, but then what? I should probably get back to work on game development, but right now I'm not sure anything I could make would be the least bit satisfying...
So you're depressed, piss your pants a lot, and watch My Little Pony. And how does that make you FEEL?
Dark, wet, and cheerfully bemused, in that order.
Sounds like a good habitat for insects
Yes, I think I have a queen drama bug nesting in my cranium right now.
Heavy Rain.
My favorite game and it's fucking great.
I heard if you hold a can of bug repellent up to your ear, spray it into your head, and then count to ten, you'll have that fixed in a jiffy.
I've been hiring exterminators to work at it, but I guess there's just too much empty space up there for them to find the source of the infestation.
Seems like a pretty common situation for a lot of older gamers. We grew up in the golden age of gaming when developers were finding innovative new ways to entertain us at every turn, and were forced to watch as gaming degenerated into a "who has the most hyper-realistic graphics that will be outdated in 6 months" contest.

Games were still stimulating because they weren't all just the same cover based shooter with an ever increasingly shiny coat of gray-brown paint dumped on everything. Now that that stimulation is lost to the modern gaming model, we're stuck being bored and uninterested in the games that are being released, but aren't quite ready to let go of a medium that can never measure up to our childhood memories.
Brother, you're singing to the choir. Of course, the interesting thing about BYOND is that by making my own I can try my hand at circumventing this. But, perhaps unsurprisingly, making great, innovative games is hard. There's always that slippery slope to go to the tried and true mechanic I've seen elsewhere and it does not take much sliding until I realize the game is no longer all that interesting.
you should make your own game about mlp
it should be where twilight sparkle goes on a killing spree and needs to grind to become the strongest pony there ever was
meh, I don't feel like being the person who says the things I was about to say so I erased those things and instead will randomly say...

waaahoooo shish-ban-boo

ts

Geldonyetich wrote:
But, perhaps unsurprisingly, making great, innovative games is hard.

your problem is that you over complicate things, focus on simpler designs that are very easy to figure out. The simpler and easier your game is to understand the better

Then you focus on level design. This is how you make the simple gameplay shine. If you have a smiley that runs around in a maze with just walls, then it can be boring. But if you fill that maze with all sorts of puzzles and traps while still having the core gameplay strictly tied to moving around as a smiley, the game can be very fun. Think Mario. If you have a blank little box with nothing in it, then the game feels boring. All you can do is jump around. Throw in a line of goombas and some blocks to smash, and you're suddenly bouncing around everywhere.


Unfortunately, my issue is not so much being unable to understand and implement an easy design. I mean, have you seen Mecha Game Framework?

My issue seems to be I get all rightously indignified that I'm not doing the "right" thing, whereupon I wrack my brain for the answer as to what the "right" thing is, only to end up frustrated from the resulting writer's block.
Geldonyetich wrote:
Unfortunately, my issue is not so much being unable to understand and implement an easy design. I mean, have you seen Mecha Game Framework?

My issue seems to be I get all rightously indignified that I'm not doing the "right" thing, whereupon I wrack my brain for the answer as to what the "right" thing is, only to end up frustrated from the resulting writer's block.

So basically your Mind is completely out of Sync?

whereupon I wrack my brain for the answer as to what the "right" thing is

Your Brain alone won't get you out of this, it gets you in even deeper shit.

Nice to hear that you threw away the med, but the real work begins now, right?

and btw.

Welcome to the N.H.K.