Lummox JR's site

Be thankful for zombie fiction

Thu, 22 Nov 2012 01:01:03 +0000

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. This year I'm going to be live-blogging the Macy's parade on my new blog. But in the meantime, I'd like to sell you a book.

One Woke Up is the story of a man who succumbed to, and recovered from, the "zombie" plague that left its victims violent psychopaths who swarm the streets by night. Now desperate to seem like a normal person, he's faced with the mystery of how he came back, who he was, and who developed the infection.

It's post-apocalyptic fiction that plays against trope, and it has my mom's personal seal of approval. If five dentists had read it, four of them would recommend this book. Since you're not my mom and you're probably not a dentist, you'll have to just read the blurb and make up your own mind if it's up your alley. And brush your teeth twice a day, because all of the above would recommend that.

A print edition and availability for Nook are coming.

Keep your account safe!

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 09:53:21 +0000

Your BYOND account's security depends on you. We want your account to be secure, but we can't do that alone. Here are some tips you can use to keep safe.

Never share your password with anyone

First off, never give out your password to share an account. When two people share an account, it links them in the ban system and if one account is banned, the other might be seen as related. But far worse, you're trusting someone with your password who may not keep that trust--they could misuse it themselves, or share it with someone else. Don't ever share your password for any reason.

This goes triple for anyone claiming to be a BYOND admin. Never give your password to anyone who is or claims to be BYOND Staff--the staff will never ask for your password.

We've also had users tell us their previous passwords when they contact us via the support form. Don't do this; it doesn't help you since we can't look up your old (or current) password, and it just compromises your security.

Look out for phishing

The weakest link in any security system is the human element. I can't even count how many users claimed they were "hacked" because someone stole their password via phishing. Phishing isn't hacking--phishing is the user being gullible. Keep a sharp eye out and don't be fooled by these common scams.

If you see a popup in a game ask you for your password, it's not ours. The BYOND pager asks for your password when you login, but Dream Seeker never will. And I shouldn't have to say this, but if the game uses passwords for other reasons, don't use the same password you use for your account--or any account. There's really no guarantee as to how a game will store any password info, and the connection used to send it to the server isn't the same kind of secure link used by our login system.

Phishing works most often by a threat: The phisher will pretend to be legitimate (in this case, they'll pretend to be BYOND Staff) and will say several bad things will happen to your account unless you reenter your login information at the link they give you. In some cases users have gotten fake emails telling them to set their password to a certain value, all while still threatening to do things like delete their hub entries if they don't comply.

Always, always view such emails with extreme suspicion. It's a pretty rare event that we'll ever tell a user to use a specific password, and when we do it's because we already made the change for them in response to an account recovery issue. (In those cases we also request changing it immediately to something we don't know.) We won't tell you to use a certain password you don't already use, because there would be no reason for us to do that. There's no reason for us to ask for your password either. And if you really needed to login again for some reason, you should go directly to the real BYOND site and login there--under no circumstances should you follow the link in the email telling you that if you don't do it bad things will happen.

Phishers also like to pretend there's time pressure, that if you don't respond immediately you'll face terrible consequences. Don't fall for this. We want you to take the time to investigate. If something smells even a little fishy to you, it probably is.

In the event you ever receive an email from BYOND Staff that you weren't expecting, you can always follow up by asking us to confirm it using our customer contact form. There's no harm in doing this. Usually such emails from us are in the form of: "We heard you were violating Terms of Service in such-and-such a way, so please cut it out." If an unsolicited email is asking you to login or wants to do something with your account info, that should raise a few red flags. Save the email and ask us about it. If it does turn out to be bogus, there's a good chance the phisher left some digital fingerprints behind.

How to use Game Updates

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 09:50:16 +0000

The Game Updates forum is a place where posts that authors make on their games' forums will appear as well, so all of BYOND can see them. This includes games that are listed on the games page, fangames, and games in development.

This is also where admins will see if your game is ready for review. They can look at which games are waiting to be listed, and decide if the game is good enough, if it's a fangame, or if it needs more work. This is what you do for a game's posts to show up here:

1) Become a BYOND Member under the account that owns the game.

2) In the editor page for your game, go to the Options tab and mark the game as visible for listing.

3) When you're ready for an admin to look it over for listing, also check the box that says it's ready for review. Don't mark it ready for the admins if it's still very incomplete. Admins can leave you feedback, which will appear in the sticky feedback thread on your hub forum.

Admins can remove posts from this forum at any time if they feel it's appropriate (often due to lack of content), but that doesn't remove them from your hub forums.

Fangame authors please note: If you're making a fangame based on intellectual property whose rightsholder has contacted us and explicitly denied permission, don't bother to create a hub entry; it cannot be listed. You can still make and host such a game at your own risk, but it won't be viewable on the BYOND hub or website. Our advice is to make a game that doesn't use the same IP, but is similar in theme so that people like you who enjoy the original will enjoy a game that reminds them of it.

How to use BYOND Help

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 09:48:00 +0000

Are you having any problems using BYOND? We'd like to answer your questions. Have some helpful advice for another user in need? Add your voice and you could be listed as one of our most helpful users.

Need help?

If you're having an issue you want to resolve, the first thing you can do is search to see if anyone else has had a similar issue. If they have, take a look at what solutions were recommended. There's a good chance that your question has already been answered, and you won't have to wait for someone to get back to you.

If you do have a new problem, by all means make a new post. When you do post, be sure to describe the problem as clearly as you can. This isn't Twitter, so you have all the space you need to tell us about the issue in detail. Here's a quick list of things you can tell us that might make things easier:

What operating system and/or browser are you using?
What were you trying to do when the problem occurred?
What actually happened, and how did it differ from what you expected?
What steps did you follow?

The more info you can provide, the more likely someone can help you on the first try. In your description, please do use the best English you can. (If you don't speak English, an online translator will work.) This isn't because we're stuffy about spelling or grammar, but because having to wade through a bunch of text-speak only makes it a lot harder for others to understand your problem. It doesn't really take much longer to write out your thoughts in "long form", and it's well worth the effort.

If the issue you're having is something happening within a game, that is something not involving the software itself, any questions should be directed toward the game's owner or posted in its forums. BYOND provides the software that runs and plays the games, but we don't take any responsibility for individual game servers; we don't run them. An example would be if you were having problems with disruptive users in the game, or a shopkeeper didn't work right, or something like that.

Some issues can be brought to our attention via the support link at the very bottom of this page. That's usually just for issues with your account, BYOND Membership, etc., or something of a security-sensitive nature.

Want to help?

We'd like for users to be able to help each other through their problems. With that in mind, this forum allows users to vote for the answer they think is most helpful. Our most helpful users--whether they help by answering or voting--are displayed in our leaderboard.

Event planning

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 09:44:46 +0000

Do you have an event or contest going on that you want people to know about? Tell them about it here!

When you post in this forum, you can set a start and end date for your event. People checking the forum will see what's coming up and when, and you can post with updates as the event draws near (or goes on). If you only need to set one date, that's fine.

To choose a date, click in the From and To boxes when adding (or editing) a post. You'll see a popup asking you to set the date and time. This is in your time zone; the display will be adjusted for users in other time zones.

Here's a handy reference (not accounting for daylight savings time when it applies) for some common time zones:

GMT (UK, Portugal)
CEST (Much of western Europe): GMT + 1
EST (Eastern US, Brazil): GMT - 5
CST (Central US): GMT - 6
MST (US Mountain): GMT - 7
PST (US Pacific, BYOND Standard): GMT - 8
Australian time zones: GMT + 8 to GMT + 10

Obviously this is not an exhaustive list, but it should serve as a rough guide for when to expect the most users to be able to get involved.

Listing a demo or library

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 09:43:19 +0000

The Demos & Libraries forum works in a very similar way to our Gaming forums. This is a place where the latest updates regarding your demos and libraries will appear, taken from their forums.

Unlike our Gaming forums, we don't have separate categories for listed vs. fangame vs. in development. If you have made your hub entry visible, it has two options: listed, or rejected.

If you're creating a demo or library, first you must be a BYOND Member to create the hub entry. Once it's ready to be listed, you can make it visible.

We do want to keep some relatively good standards in this section for what is accepted, so anything not meeting that criteria will be rejected outright. You can always use the feedback thread on your hub entry's forums to talk to the admin(s) responsible for rejecting it, if you want to make changes and have them take another look later.

If you're writing a library, first and foremost it should not be designed so that users need to alter its code to make it work the way they want. If you're doing that, it should be a demo. A library is meant to plug into existing code without needing changes. It should be well-documented and contain good code practices.

For demos, we also require good code practices. Abuse of usr, the : operator, and goto should be firmly avoided. Using comments well is always helpful, though putting pointless comments on just about every line is not. Make sure you put in a tab before any // comments, for readability. A demo is useless to its audience if it isn't readable, after all.

Classified Ads and you

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 09:40:43 +0000

Welcome to the Classified Ads forum. This is the place to go if you want to ask for help making your game.

All posts in this forum are locked. Instead of replying in a public venue, replies are sent as private pages. This is available even if the person responding to the ad is not a BYOND Member.

Things to include

When you post your ad, here's a few things you should include:

The name of the project
A little information about the project or your goals
What kind of help you need
Compensation offered
Any other contact info

If you get all the responses you need, you can delete your post. You can also make edits as needed. After a few weeks, the post will disappear on its own to prevent clutter.

I probably mean it this time

Tue, 01 Feb 2011 04:18:44 +0000

The Cartridge Classic II deadline has been extended again. A few people were running short of time to complete their projects, the number of submissions has fallen a bit short (I think Christmas was more of a hindrance than a help there), and I think with the site update now mostly done, development is seeing a bit of an uptick. So in the interest of inclusiveness, let's push this thing to April 1, 2011.

Extended!

Wed, 01 Dec 2010 03:14:59 +0000

By popular demand, the Cartridge Classic II has been extended. The new deadline is now February 1, 2011.

Basically I meant to promote the contest more right after it was announced, but I got way too busy with some major work projects and wasn't able to give the contest the promotion it deserved. So rev up your ideas and get going on your projects, because you have an extra two months to do it!

Now that there's time to do so, I may even put into this myself over the Christmas break.

Let's blog a parade! (third edition)

Thu, 25 Nov 2010 14:00:02 +0000

Pumpkin muffin: Check.
TV tuned to NBC: Check.
Joel Goddard on the mike: Check.
Macy's takes over New York: Check.

Let the live-blogging begin! I'll be updating as events happen.

Oh gads, I forgot Meredith Vieira does this now.

Snoopy! Huzzah! Kanye West is coming. I wonder who he'll interrupt. Michael Grimm from AGT will be performing. Good for him. Mannheim Steamroller! Holy crap, that's cool. And Summer Glau, presumably not in a box. My new hero Alton Brown is in the line-up as well--I believe he'll be on the big turkey float. Ah yep, there's a shot of him now. Bring on the Broadway acts.

Huh. As country as this opening song is, it can't actually pick a musical genre. Also, you can't do Cotton Eye Joe with female vocals--it just sounds stupid, at least until you hear Hamsterdance-like music following it. Why not just use the Rednexx version?

Macy's commercial, including a scene from Miracle on 34th Street (the original, not the crappy remake). True story: I went to buy that this year and couldn't find it at Best Buy. Eventually someone showed me their Christmas movie section but said they couldn't find it there. I went over and it was right at eye level.

This song from Memphis is underwhelming me.

The cast of American Idiot is performing Time of Your Life (Good Riddance). I have to say, I've always been hot and cold to Green Day but I've never cared one bit for this song. It's not bad, it's just freaking overplayed. The only difference between this and the version I always hear on the radio is I'm not changing the channel this time to look for something better, and it's not something the cast gets credit for. Boring.

Al, I love ya buddy but get out of the street!

A disheartening number of these musicals seem to be about Baby Boomer reminiscences. This song isn't bad, although the guy playing Elvis looks more like a cross between John Cusack and D.B. Sweeney.

Another Macy's commercial. Gads, there are people would have a complete breakdown if a clown woke them up at 3 AM. Like 60% of the population. And a state-sponsored commercial for CFLs, the light bulb that doesn't live up to any of its claims of longevity and will give future generations mercury poisoning because of morons who pass laws banning incandescents.

NBC is bringing back The Sing-Off. Didn't watch the first season. Given their timing and that they intend to air this on Mondays, I won't be watching this season either. Sorry, How I Met Your Mother and House win. But kudos to the network for spotlighting a capella. I went to see Straight No Chaser perform last weekend and they were fantastic.

Chase commercial. It's a sad day for George Michael when his song is hawking a credit card instead of being better known for a video featuring every major supermodel of the '90s and more explosions than Michael Bay's dreams.

I wonder if The Cape will be any good. Summer Glau's in it, so probably, I guess.

And now a song from Elf, the musical. I love smiling. Smiling's my favorite.

Somebody actually said this: "Blockbuster has hot new titles, like The Kids Are All Right and Charlie St. Cloud." Somebody flunked adjectives 101.

Here comes flying ace Snoopy! It's amazing how long and how well the Peanuts characters have endured in the hearts of America. Now if they'd only get around to releasing Race For Your Life, Charlie Brown on DVD....

And there's Alton Brown on the Tom Turkey float. This song isn't so hot though.

Huh, another celebrity chef and another song. Only this is a song that's recognizable, Arlo Guthrie's accent notwithstanding. His daughter's singing with him and she has a very very bad case of '70s Vocalist. Ack. Oh well. Hey, there's Kermit!

Here comes the Sesame Street float. I just found out the other day that Elmo's been on the show for 25 years. Good gads. Elmo is after my time.

Apparently the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series is incredibly popular. You wouldn't know it from the movie. I saw preview after bad preview for the film and you couldn't have dragged me into a theater to see it if you'd held a gun to my head.

Of all the songs for Jimmy Fallon to perform, he has to sing the hackneyed sanctimonious Do They Know It's Christmas? as part of a medley? Good gads, I change the radio to another channel whenever the Christmas stations play it.

Here comes Ronald McDonald though, another of my personal heroes. Horrible music moment over.

And now some actual good music. It's Mannheim Steamroller, coming at us with keyboards blazing.

The minions from Despicable Me are making off with part of a replica of the Statue of Liberty, and Miranda Cosgrove. Good luck, guys.

Following Captain Mickey holding his ridiculously undersized anchor, we have the US pizza twirling team. To quote Chris Hardwick, is that really a thing? I mean, a team? Do they have sponsors? Do they compete in some kind of event, like the Food Network F Games? What other events are there? So many questions.

We have a pep rally float. Huh. Because apparently nothing says Thanksgiving like... pep rallies. And it's followed by cheerleaders doing a routine to very short snippets of the Beach Boys' greatest hits. Nothing against the Beach Boys, but I don't get it.

Whooooo lives in a pineapple under the sea? Man, it looks like they caught him in freeze frame during a stage dive, and he's about to mosh the crowd. Behind him is a pirate ship with a guy singing a song entirely in Spanish. I don't understand a word of it, nor the point thereof. Plus he sounds like Neil Diamond. Gah.

Huh. That Yogi Bear movie hits theaters December 17. I've seen precisely one preview for it before now. Translation: The studio isn't throwing much marketing behind this except when they think kids are watching, which means it's going to suck suck suck suckity suck. Ironic because the character means more to adults anyway. I wonder who green-lit the project and what job they'll get in Washington, DC to celebrate their incompetence. Well anyway I'll be going to see Tron Legacy.

I can't decide if the Black Eyed Peas are more annoying or less annoying as a marching band medley. I think I'll go with less. At least I like marching bands.

Kylie Minogue is up. Everyone lip-syncs these events but I wouldn't be a bit surprised if she's actually singing live because she actually can. I like her music when she's not so much in the disco mode. I should probably take a second look at her stuff, actually.

Hello, Kitty!

Oh good gads. There's a local commercial for a personal injury law firm offering to represent snowmobilers. I wish them no ill or anything, but people who get hurt on snowmobiles usually bring it all on themselves. Unless you hit one with a car or plant a land mine on a trail I don't see how you're liable for an injury.

Aw, it's the last year for the Shrek balloon? That's sad.

Also sad: Freaky anime creature balloons. And I don't mean Pikachu. Gads, if only. What in the frell is wrong with Japan?

Keri Hilson, who I've never heard of before today and hopefully won't hear of again based on the strength of her lousy song. She's singing a song where a lot of the words have to be bleeped out while she's on top of the princess float with a bunch of little girls. You stay classy, Keri.

Well, the Power Rangers have been reborn as samurai. Okay, sure, what the heck. It's not like I'll be watching either way.

Gads Michael Grimm is fantastic. I'm happy to see Jackie Evancho is making the circuit too though--she'll be performing for the tree lighting in Rockefeller Center.

There's the classic firefighter balloon, who has been in a few different jobs since his debut in 1946. I can't see that balloon without thinking of Miracle on 34th Street.

Kung Fu Panda is coming down the street. I still need to see that movie. And behind him, there's the Hess Truck float toting a boy band called Big Time Rush. As boy band music goes it's tolerable, but I have to say I'm sick of hearing the signature Auto-Tune whine.

Now there's Pikachu, led by two new Pokemon. At this point no one's ever gonna collect 'em all. I actually can't look at Pikachu without thinking of an awesome video mashup of Pokemon clips to a Mindless Self-Indulgence song.

I really want to see Tangled. My wife and I saw Harry Potter 7.1 last weekend--fortunately it wasn't too crowded at the late night show, though there was still a line to get in. Part 2 is gonna be freaking epic.

Spider-Man, not yet grittily and prematurely rebooted (what the heck, Hollywood?), leads the big apple float carrying Kanye West. Why is this guy popular? Talented or not, he's a wank. Screw the idiot. (I have a similar attitude toward Russel Crowe, who is graciously not appearing in this parade.)

Waking up to Jessica Simpson, much better than waking up to a clown. But after the Macy's ad we have another rehash of the HP ad with the traveling baby and the screechy rendition of that roller skate song. I totally want to strangle the person who picked the music for that commercial--not fatally, just to make the point. And there's an ad for The Sing-Off--the Lady GaGa thing has already been done by Straight No Chaser, with 10 guys instead of 15, so I'm not so impressed by the promo.

And now, Horton hears a Bollywood routine.

Oh yeah! Kool-Aid Man is riding on a skateboard behind a giraffe.

Oh no! It's the Dora float. Gads this song is annoying.

Huh, a marching band from Guatemala. That's different. More them, less Dora.

Okay, the performers dressed as penguins are officially the weirdest thing I've seen so far.

Build-A-Bear has a float with more bubblegum pop. Fairly decent bubblegum pop actually.

To infinity, and beyond! I still haven't seen Toy Story 3. Meant to, but the timing didn't work out.

Oh good gads. A commercial filled with moments of defeat followed by triumph, fairly powerful emotionally, and the tag line is "We all fall down. Thanks for helping us get back up." The message is from GM. Gah! I didn't help you idiots get back up, the idiot politicians who insisted on bailing you out did. I was forced to pay for getting you back up. Don't expect me to be grateful.

Jessica Simpson has a Christmas song. She'll always have a special place in my heart for ripping the beat from a horrific and inexplicably popular John Mellencamp song and putting it into something I could tolerate. I didn't think that was possible.

Matt Lauer can't imitate the Pillsbury Doughboy for crap.

On this Thanksgiving, I'm thankful that the bulk of the parade is going by in front of a massive Victoria's Secret billboard.

The song Blue Skies always puts me in the mood to watch White Christmas, which I've done for a couple of years now while putting up the tree. Which means I have some work to do in the living room this weekend. I also need to look for some good shatterproof silver bulbs that have a shiny finish--I couldn't find much last year, and I need it because Puff likes to climb the tree.

A car commercial. I noticed this year I haven't seen commercials where people give their loved ones a Lexus with a bow on it. Frankly that was a stretch even for the last two years.

The Santa balloon is here, followed by a band peforming My Favorite Things. Shockingly this song, which has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas and has no place among Christmas music, has been sneaking into holiday collections since the freaking '60s. Who knew?

And now here comes Generic Smurf. He's the one who's a stereotype of all the other Smurfs.

"The official Christmas season begins with comedian Joan Rivers...." Wait, what? Joel, are you screwing with my head?

This Ann Callaway person performing Yes, Virginia has way too low a voice. It's freaking me out. If I didn't see her with the mike I wouldn't know if man or a woman was singing. I demand more gender of my vocalists. Also the song is boring.

And now, here comes Santa Claus himself. As you all know the real Santa holds court at Macy's in New York. He certainly looks happy to be here this year, and after all why not? Meredith Vieira just gave a nice shout out to our troops overseas.

I'm starting to get seriously hungry now. As it should be. And before John O'Hurley brings on the dogs, I'd like to wish a happy Thanksgiving to one and all, except the goons behind this stupid CFL commercial. Oh heck, them too. I hope everyone gets their fill of good food, and enjoys watching the stuffing get beaten out of the Detroit Lions.