The right answer in Off Topic

ID:90197
 
Jan 20 2010, 9:34 pm
Keywords: home, poll, rant

Poll: Over or under?

Over 19% (14)
Over, stupid! 15% (11)
Always over! 19% (14)
Durrrrrr 45% (32)

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Cottonelle's whole "over vs. under" poll is ludicrous. There is one and only one right way to mount the toilet paper on the holder: hanging over.

A character in one of their commercials demonstrates the only permissible exception to this rule. He has a pet who unrolls the roll if it hangs over. Since Hobbes used to do this when he was a kitten, I appreciate the dilemma and consider this an acceptable compromise. But in any other situation, under is wrong, wrong, wrong.

I present the following scientific analysis to quell any doubts.
#1 Jan 20 2010, 10:54 pm
There's a scene from King of the Hill where Hank storms into the kitchen to complain about someone hanging the toilet paper under instead of over.
#2 Jan 21 2010, 2:02 am
Lol My mother once put it under and complained because all of my brothers and myself put it over. I asked her why does she even bother to put it under and that its annoying. She replies with a "You don't know what you're talking about, hotels put it under all the time." I told her "Do we look like a freaking hotel?" I found it funny how the argument lasted a few minutes over the toilet paper.
#3 Jan 21 2010, 5:44 am
Folding the end to make a little triangle is the way to go; and that only works if you hang it over.
#4 Jan 21 2010, 10:55 am
I was about to agree until I went into my bathroom and realized that it was under...But, in my own personal opinion I believe that it should be under when the paper is to the left of the porcelain throne and over when to the right of the porcelain throne for best versatility..
#5 Jan 21 2010, 12:34 pm
Mecha Destroyer JD wrote:
I was about to agree until I went into my bathroom and realized that it was under...But, in my own personal opinion I believe that it should be under when the paper is to the left of the porcelain throne and over when to the right of the porcelain throne for best versatility..

FAIL. That makes zero sense. Which side it's on should make no difference at all because even if you're reaching across your body, the ergonomics of an over vs. under tear are the same. (Also note the holder can be in front of the toilet as well.)
#6 Jan 21 2010, 1:01 pm
Both, because I don't actively think about putting a new roll of toilet paper on, I just do it.
#7 Jan 21 2010, 1:24 pm
That purely scientific analysis is so right. I can't stand when it's under because it seems like twice as much of a hassle to reach under, try to grab the paper, and pull it out. When it's over, you just grab it and go, and it's always visible.
#8 Jan 21 2010, 7:37 pm
Actually mine doesn't hang, I have something called a shelf I put it on. =)
So standing upright.
#9 Jan 21 2010, 7:41 pm
The answer is that anyone who didn't look at those commercials and immediately think "That's retarded" has already failed. I have better things to do than care about something trivial like this, such as masturbating while banging my head off a bedboard.
#10 Jan 21 2010, 9:38 pm
Neither. I have a personal maid that wipes my ass for me.
#11 Jan 21 2010, 9:40 pm
Although I do so passively, I always use OVER. It's simply superior; under is irritating.
#12 Jan 21 2010, 9:42 pm
Ganing wrote:
So standing upright.

Actually, I believe there are two half-used rolls and one hanging over in my bathroom right now. The ones standing upright are probably used more often.
#13 Jan 22 2010, 12:54 am
Dude, on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon he asked this exact question. Everyone said over.
#14 Jan 26 2010, 2:34 pm
This may surprise you, but I prefer under: since a fair bit of toilet paper is textured on only one side, and I prefer my paper folded rather than wadded, it is more "effective" when under as the textured side is thus readily available and easiest to fold -- although it depends on brand. I also obtain the toilet paper while sitting down, where an underhang is equally as visible as an overhang, if not moreso.

Important with an underhand hang is proper toilet paper etiquette, including using an appropriate number of squares (approx 4) instead of "grab and tear", always leaving one square readily available, taking the appropriate amount with two hands, and never spinning the roll on the hook. Having a proper outset holder instead of an inset holder is also generally necessary.

Yes, I actually spent five minutes of my life to log in and describe the particulars of toilet paper connoissance.

Also, as a rebuttal:

"Toilet paper hung in improper overhand fashion." --child care worker, The Simpsons
#15 Jan 26 2010, 9:16 pm
Well, inasmuch as you're Canadian and do many other things (like spell) wrong, this answer doesn't surprise me greatly. Although I will point out the obvious flaw in your logic, that if the toiler paper requires greater care when mounted underhanging, that method is obviously ergonomically inferior regardless of any conceivable texture issues. One side could literally be sandpaper and still your argument would make no sense. Also: Everybody gets the toilet paper while sitting down. Unless the holder is mounted a foot higher than standard, underhang is always harder to get at. (And 4 squares? Dude, I'm pretty sure Sheryl Crow was kidding when she suggested only using 1.)

A child care worker on the Simpsons would be portrayed as nothing other than a parody of meaningless bureaucrats finding frivolous and completely asinine faults for the sake of justifying their own jobs. Therefore the quote rebuts you. QED