I always took life for granted. I went through every day breathing, eating, sleeping, watching, smelling, hearing, tasting, feeling, hurting, crying, smiling, and the millions of other things that seem so small. I have realized (through the recent death of a close friend of mine) that Life itself is not as simple as it seems. On the surface, humanity is so superior, so intelligent, and the best species. Behind the scenes, it’s been one out of billions and billions of odds against humanity being the way it is. For having the ability to have complicated and intelligent thoughts, to perform various task that "normal" forms of nature cannot, and being able to contemplate the world we exist in through very different eyes.

I have always been raised as a Christian, being born to very religious parents who taught me the values of church and the bible. I have learned through my difficult years of public schooling and the things I do online that being Christian isn't what it’s cracked up to be. When you are innocent, like a three-year old, you think your parents can do no wrong, that God is good and that he made you unique from everyone else. But then, as you get older, you lose the innocence, learn that people make mistakes, that everyone you know and love make mistakes, that yourself has made mistakes involuntarily. As I grew older, I didn't lose my faith. I looked at it a different way, and began to seriously think about "afterlife" and "heaven."

What frightens me the most is not Death itself, for it is a natural process that happens (and is accepted) by every organic thing on earth. What humbles me and makes me question my religious upbringing is what will happen after I die? Shall I go to Heaven if I have been good and been helpful and follow all God's commandments or go to Hell if the latter be no? Will I become an empty, rotting piece of organic material and fade into blackness, to cease to exist and just poof... away... and never live in this world again. These are the things that make me think: "Why are we wasting our valuable time on this Earth hating each other over such petty things?"

I have taken the time to research Christianity as well as many other religions, philosophies, and theories related to life and death itself. All it has brought me is puzzle pieces from millions of puzzles that will never fit together to form an image. Looking at everything that the various things claim, I have noticed three main ways of thinking:

1. Heaven: You follow God or your religious figures and obey their commands and you will go to their home once you die. If not, then you go to some form of Hell or eternal punishment.

2. Brain: The Brain uses a field of electromagnetic radiation, using various parts of your brain, to form a net of energy that is called a "Conscious" and allows the person to perform intelligent thought processes, but is not visible to modern technology, so they are thought to be useless parts of the brain. When you die, this field of energy fades and you become an empty shell.

3. Twist: Your soul flows through bodies, trying to reach perfection. Once perfection is reached after being through the cycle a number of times, you are sent to a Heaven-life place to help others complete their cycles.

These ways of thinking are confusing, and I have yet to discover any helpful, factual information that will calm my curiosity. But I do realize that, with our limited lifespan and the fact that we do not know what happens when we die, that we must live to the fullest, forgive and forget, and pave the way, make a better world for future generations. In this, I apologize to anyone I have hurt (whether emotionally or verbally) and that I will think before I speak/type, look before I act, and pray before I die.