Mike Heasley

Cancer fighting runs in the family

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 15:47:24 GMT

Last month one night, Sasha was up all night coughing and occasionally trying to throw up. It may have been the luckiest night of her life.

She went to the vet the next day where they performed some tests and monitored her for a few hours. X-rays revealed air trapped in her esophagus¹, which was probably the cause of the coughing. Far more importantly, a tumor was discovered on her left lung.

Probable cancer.

The cough went away in a few days, but we had bigger things to tackle. Just like her dad, she went in for a CT scan² that confirmed the mass. Click the image to see an animation of all the CT slices (3.4 MB):

(click any image to enlarge)
It was good news, though: only a single, solitary mass could be seen in the CT, dramatically reducing the chances that anything had already spread to other parts of the body. We had caught it early, so she would be an excellent candidate for surgery.

Sasha came home the day after surgery, wearing a cone of shame, missing a good bit of the fur on her left side, and minus a piece of lung. While there was some evidence of pain the first few days, she took it well, as the medication seemed to be helping. In fact, we were surprised at how soon she was getting around at normal speeds. The vets said that dogs heal very quickly, and they weren't kidding.

Just three days after she came home, Sasha was able to rip the bandage by scratching with her hind legs. I took her back to the surgery center to have them re-bandage her, but they said the wound looked great and just took it off.

To prevent further scratching and bothering the wound, we changed strategies, replacing the cone of shame with something a little more human(e).

Hey, nice shirt!

Today she got the stitches removed, two weeks after surgery. Everything's looking good.

Never before has Sasha's Livestrong collar been more appropriate.

¹ Speaking of esophaguses, here are some photos of mine that I had taken recently (not for the medically squeamish); but that's another story.
² And speaking of CT scans, I had my last scan about a week ago. Everything's still free and clear.

The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 23:49:15 GMT

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This past Tuesday night, millions of people watched as I appeared alongside Andy Richter on The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien. How did I pull off such a feat? Read on to find out how you, too, could become very briefly famous. Or be lazy and skip to the bottom to bask in my glorious fame.

There are two possible ways to appear on The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien. The first way is to become famous ahead of time and receive an invitation to be a guest on the show. This is hard. Really hard. For you, dear reader, I would dare to say it's impossible. It's not gonna happen, so forget about that pipe dream. Do what I did instead.

Get Your Tickets

First, I requested free tickets via email about a month and a half ago. You are instructed to choose four potential dates, and tickets are randomly assigned to requestors via a lottery system. You may request up to 4 tickets this way.

A few weeks later, I received an email stating that we had been chosen to receive tickets to the June 23rd taping of the show. The email included instructions to arrive at the Universal Studios gate no later than 3:30 p.m. on the day of the show, and that even with tickets, admission is not guaranteed. Translation: arrive early.

You can also skip the ticket request process, simply arriving on the morning of the show to request standby tickets. Standby ticketholders have the lowest priority, after anyone holding ticket reservations. Odds of getting in will be lower, but this is the best way to see a particular guest who will be on the show that day. This is because reserved tickets must be requested far enough in advance that the guest list for a particular date won't be known yet.

Wait In Line

We arrived in Universal City around 11:30 a.m. and had a quick lunch. We then headed to the parking structure at Lankershim and Universal Hollywood. This was the recommended parking according to the show's website, and there were plenty of signs for Tonight Show parking directing us there, too. $10 - not too bad.

Plenty of signs directed us to the audience entrance for The Tonight Show, about a quarter mile down the road. We arrived in line at about 12:15, and were the 9th and 10th people in line. Cool. Guaranteed front row seats, right?

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The outdoor waiting area is pretty nice, with plenty of shade and benches to sit on. It basically runs along Lankershim Blvd between James Stuart Ave and Muddy Waters Dr. I do hope they get better covering before the short rainy season rolls around next year. There's no way the area would stay dry, and waiting for a few hours in the rain doesn't sound like much fun to me.

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Over the next hour and half, the line gradually lengthened as more early birds joined the wait. At some point, they opened a small kiosk at the back of the line, where you could buy overpriced Tonight Show t-shirts or $5 refrigerator magnets.

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Shortly before 2:00, a few NBC employees came out to hand out wristbands and tickets. To get yours, you needed to show the reservation email printout and your photo ID. Standby ticketholders were told to wait at the back, behind all reserved ticketholders. We were then led around the corner where we waited along James Stuart Ave, just outside Universal Studios Gate 2. No benches here.

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About 5 or 6 times over the next two hours, groups of people were led onto the Universal Studios lot for bathroom breaks. Potty-goers were instructed to stay in a single-file line at all times, and a headcount was done before and after each trip to make sure nobody had sneaked off into the Universal Studios back lot. I wonder if anyone has ever gotten away?

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The restrooms used were the very same that were featured in an episode of the show last week.

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As we got closer to "go" time, I noticed a line forming across the street, on the other side of James Stuart Ave. At first I thought it was unrelated to ours, but then some of the NBC pages who were babysitting our line went over there to take them on a bathroom break. So, what was the deal with this line? Were they VIPs who were going to get in before us? Would they ruin our chance at guaranteed front row seats?

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Tension mounted as the time to enter the studio drew near. Which group would move first? We, the dedicated fans who had spent the last 3½ hours waiting, earning our rightful seats? Or those "special" people across the street, who'd nonchalantly arrived at the last minute?

We were told to line up, single-file. Instructions were given - metal detectors, security, no cameras, blah, blah. Messages came across on the walkie-talkies held by NBC employees. Neither line moved. We listened intently to each new walkie-talkie message, hanging on every garbled and distorted word. Which message would be the go-ahead to start moving our line? Most importantly, would it come soon enough? Would it happen before they started moving toward the studio?

And then, finally, movement. We were moving. I glanced across the street. They stood fixed. Yes! We would be first into the studio! The long, hard hours spent in line would indeed pay off.

Have a Seat

Entering the studio was a very precise and controlled process. Once past the metal detectors, you walked through a small tunnel/hallway much like at a sports arena, dumping you right on the stage. Directly in front of you was the center of the stage where Conan performs the monologue. To your left, the desk and couches where interviews are conducted; to your right, the area where The ~~Max Weinberg Seven~~ Tonight Show Band sits. Behind you and up the stairs, the audience seating.

Here's a view of the main entrance/exit, looking from the front of the stage, back toward the audience.

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These three shots from an episode last week give you a better idea of what it would look like leaving the studio after the show. The last one shows the area where metal detectors were setup as we came in from the outside.

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As we entered, each group of people was directed to their seats by a series of NBC pages. The first page, standing in Conan's monologue spot, would point you to the left or to the right. The next page would lead you up the stairs and to your seats. There was no picking and choosing - you sat where you were told to sit.

This can be problematic for someone who hopes to be on TV. The best spot for this is the first row in the far left section, behind the podium where announcer Andy Richter stands during the show. Any time Andy is on camera, the first row or two of audience members is clearly visible behind him. But as we entered, audience members were being alternately directed to fill all four sections equally. Because this is somewhat random, simply being at the front of the line does not guarantee seating in the section behind Andy.

The first group into the studio was directed to the front row of the center left section - fantastic seats, but not much chance of being on TV. The next group went to the center right section. Then we came in. The page pointed left. Yes! The second page, standing on the stairs, directed us to the far left section. Victory! We were right behind Andy!

Only one potential problem: because we were so close to the front of the line, we were the first two people in this row. This means we had the two farthest seats to the left, potentially getting us cropped out of those crucial Andy camera shots. The absolute best seats are clearly in the center of this section and row. My wife graciously took one for the team, sitting in the farthest seat so that I'd have a slightly better chance of squeezing into the frame. And it paid off for me, as you'll see later on (thanks!).

The studio was kept very cold inside. This is probably so the performers don't get too hot under the lights and in their suits. Bring a light jacket or sweater if you think this might bother you.

The Pre-Show

Once everyone was seated (this took a while, considering that all 380 audience members had to get through the metal detectors at the entrance) Jimmy Pardo came out to explain the applause sign, having us practice responding to it, and warm up the crowd. He talked to a couple of audience members and made jokes about what they said. Moderately funny, I guess.

While all of this was going on, the entire studio and stage area was abuzz with activity. Crew members and NBC suits were constantly entering and exiting the area, setting up and testing equipment, putting papers and cue cards in place, talking on their headsets, and generally looking important. I couldn't tell you what half of them actually do to contribute to the show, but each one must be something essential, judging by the way they all walked around looking focused and urgent.

One guy had the job of filling Conan's mug with Diet Coke (Coke for CoCo?). Another emptied half a packet of Orbitz gum onto the camera a few feet in front of us - presumably for the cameraman. Very minty smelling. It's amazing how many people it takes to pull off a one-hour show like this. And I'm sure many more were never seen by the audience.

Finally, Pardo introduced Andy Richter, who came out and introduced the members of The Tonight Show Band (the best band in television). They played a song, with band members LaBamba (trombone), Jerry Vivino (saxophone), and Mark Pender (trumpet) walking through the audience as they played. The song ended with Mark Pender playing and holding a single note on his trumpet for literally about 2 or 3 minutes, as he walked through the audience, using a circular breathing technique. Incredibly impressive!

It's Showtime!

Towards the end of Pender's long note, somebody began walking around the stage area holding up a single finger, indicating 1 minute to show time. The band quickly finished the song and everyone ran to their places. The countdown began, with the last few seconds in silence before Max Weinberg's trademark drum fill to start the Tonight Show theme. The applause sign lit up and the crowd came to life as Andy Richter began the announcements. Monitors overhead showed the now familiar opening graphics just as they would be seen later that evening on TV. The entire audience was on their feet by the time Conan O'Brien entered the stage from behind the curtain.

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We were both featured on national TV during the opening standing ovation.

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(check out the super secret hidden door in the above image)

The first thing that struck me during the monologue was that the volume level on Conan's microphone was surprisingly low; the same was true of Andy's and all the guests' microphones too. If the crowd was making any noise (laughter, applause), you couldn't hear what he was saying. I presume that's done to avoid too much of an echo effect, but it was unexpected when compared to the TV mix where you always hear him prominently at home. Kind of made it seem like he was farther away than he really was at times. Then again, maybe we were just sitting in an acoustic dead spot.

I was lucky enough to get into a few shots during the monologue, but that bastard Andy Richter was rude enough to stand in front of Bev.

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Didn't he know there was a show going on??

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The Tonight Show Band played a song during each commercial break, for the entire duration of the break. The show is taped (not really - it's actually recorded digitally to hard drives now, as Conan himself demonstrates) in real-time, including space for commercials. I suppose this makes it easier to get the timing exactly right, rather than trying to edit it together in the short 2 hours or so between the end of taping and airing on the east coast.

During each break, all sorts of people milled around the stage area - talking, setting up cue cards, moving cameras into place, etc. Conan often walked around and talked to Jeff Ross (executive producer), Mike Sweeney (head writer), Andy, or the guests. Andy went and sat on the couch to talk to the guests during one or two breaks.

After the first commercial break, I was once again featured prominently on national TV during a comedy bit between Conan and Andy.

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(check out the faces in the second row above - none of them seem to be paying attention to the show!)

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(ahhh, now it's all smiles in row 2)

You can watch that segment here on the Tonight Show website.

The remainder of the show was relatively uneventful. Oh, I guess some actual famous people came on and talked to Conan, or something.

That's a Wrap

To close, the band played the standard end-of-the-show theme that you hear on TV, but Conan didn't sing along for the audience as he'd been known to do on the old Late Night program. The singing was never aired, but apparently he did it every night on the old show. Too bad they didn't carry that over to The Tonight Show.

After the show was done, Conan and the guests did three quick promos for lead-ins from the local news. He would say things like "Hey everyone, we've got a great show tonight with [names of guests]. It's all coming up, right after the news." They did all three promos in quick succession, probably taking less than 2 minutes total. Even then, Conan managed to be pretty funny in between takes.

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Now the show was officially over. All of the performers waved to the crowd and made their exits. Most of them walked out the door right in front of us (the real door, not the secret one).

You can watch the entire episode here on NBC's website. We appear on camera at times 0:55, 5:05, 10:03, and 16:52.

All in all, a great way to spend an afternoon becoming microfamous (I just coined that term - all rights reserved; any preexisting references to the term are purely coincidental and/or figments of your imagination).

Arts & Crafts Hero

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 09:13:52 GMT

Bill of Materials:

Tool hooks		2 @ $0.87 ea
4x4" Wooden Circular Plaques		2 @ $0.69 ea
2-Pack Wallgrippers + Screws		2 @ $2.48 ea
12 oz. Can Spray Paint - Satin Black (not shown)		1 @ $6.98

Step 1: Drill a 3/8" pilot hole in the center of each plaque, no more than about 1/4" deep.

Step 2: Screw the tool hook into the hole to ensure a good fit.

Step 3: Drill two more 3/8" pilot holes in each plaque, about one inch on either side of the center hole. Sand with fine grit sand paper (320 or higher), then thoroughly wipe clean.

Step 4: Screw the tool hooks into the center holes again, but just partially.

Step 5: Apply a few coats of paint according to instructions on the spray can, leaving ample time for drying between coats.

Note: In between coats of paint, it may be helpful to smooth the surface of the wood plaques using fine steel wool.

Step 6: Screw the brass screws from the wallgripper kits into an object (empty bleach container shown here) to hold them up. Apply paint to the screws.

Step 7: Screw the painted brass screws into the side holes until they just protrude from the back of the plaque.

Step 8: Find a desirable location on the wall. Use the points of the brass screws (protruding from the back of the plaque) to mark the wall by firmly pressing them into it. Insert the wallgrippers at these locations. If there is a stud at either location, simply drill a small (1/8" or less) pilot hole into the stud instead.

Step 9: Screw the brass screws into the wallgrippers until the plaque is firmly attached to the wall.

Step 10: Insert the hook into the center hole of the plaque and screw it in fully. Repeat for the second hanger. Enjoy.

Evolution of a Wildfire

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 17:13:26 GMT

Thanks to all the well wishers.

So far so good: the wind shifted slightly this morning, pushing the fire to the west, towards Diamond Bar. Good for us, not so good for them. As a result, we ended up staying put for the day (except for a quick trip to the emergency vet for an insect bite or sting and a swollen dog face, but that's a different story), but ready to take off if the winds shift back. That remains a real possibility, so we continue to monitor the news, as well as the view outside, for the latest developments.

Here's a little timelapse movie I put together of the fire, going from about 9:00 yesterday morning to 3:00 this afternoon. The images come from a local webcam a couple of miles from where I live.

Slow version:

Faster version:

You can see that the air in Chino Hills remained pretty clear for most of both days as the wind kept the smoke from dispersing over us. However, just in the last couple of hours, we've finally gotten that familiar smoky haze that comes during wildfire season. Of course, that signals a shift in the wind, so who knows what comes next...

Evacuation?

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 05:54:56 GMT

No officials have come by yet, but the city website claims that our area is under mandatory evacuation due to the so-called freeway complex fire. A neighbor woke us up about a half hour ago to say she'd seen it on the internet. So I guess we'll pack up a few things and get ready to get out of here if/when the authorities come by. Should be fun.

Here's a photo taken a few minutes ago from the street in front of our house (house in the photo is across the street):

It's not as bad as it looks in the photo, but you can see flames coming off the top of the hillside.

Free and Clear

Fri, 17 Oct 2008 13:22:31 GMT

Just got a call from my radiation oncologist. I had the followup PET scan on Monday (finally!) and the results are in.

The previously enlarged lymph node has shrunk from 2 cm down to about 4 mm. That also happens to be about the size of a healthy lymph node. Also, no abnormal metabolic activity on the PET scan.

In short, no evidence of any remaining cancer. I've been here once before, and I know that I'm not out of the woods yet. Recurrence can occur any time in the first 1-5 years, and sometimes as late as 10 years. But man, it feels good to get past that first test.

Now I know that all the funny little feelings, sensations, and minor pains I've had off and on the last couple of months were not due to new tumors. Going forward, that's very helpful to know. Anxiety has been one of the worst parts of this whole ordeal, and this news helps with that tremendously.

The folks are coming to town this afternoon, so I suppose we'll celebrate. Woohoo.

Radioactive Man

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 15:11:25 GMT

The CT scan last month already showed an enlarged lymph node, but before moving forward with treatment, we needed to confirm that it really was a cancerous tumor. How to do that? By making me radioactive.

About 2 weeks ago I had a combination PET/CT scan. I was injected with radioactive glucose, then scanned to look for the radioactive decay of said glucose. That's essentially what the PET scan portion does. The CT portion just gets images of bodily structure to overlay with the images of detected radioactive decay.

Why does the PET scan detect malignant tumors? Because cancer usually likes to grow quickly; much more quickly than the rest of the body. And that amount of growth needs a lot of food: glucose. The PET scan just shows what areas of the body are using the most glucose. If the suspicious area lights up on the PET scan, it's a tumor.

The scan itself was similar to my prior CT scans, except that they didn't make me drink any of that nasty barium contrast fluid (yay!). The CT portion, as before, lasted just a few minutes. But it was another half hour or so of lying still as the PET scanner looked for random radioactive decay through various slices of my body.

The above image represents fused data from both portions of the scan: the red/orange/yellow colors represent glucose uptake from the PET scanner, while white represents physical structure from the CT. This slice down the center of my body looks pretty normal: the brain and heart are the big users of glucose, while some is collecting in the bladder for expulsion.

I was expecting this scan to be a mere formality: the tumor would light up, confirming its nefarious nature, and we would proceed with the treatment recommended by the doctors - radiation therapy. What I got in my followup visit a few days later was anything but that.

Mass confusion
First, the report said there was nothing suspicious found in the PET scan. Good news, right? But of course, nothing is 100% sure. It could have been hiding. Or the radiologist who read the scan may have been getting ready for vacation and been distracted from his work. You never know, right?

The second part really threw me for a loop. The medical oncologist I saw for this followup said that he recommended against radiation therapy. If the tumor were confirmed (based on the report, nothing was confirmed yet), he wanted me to do chemotherapy.

What??!?

I thought all the doctors were on the same page with radiation. That's what the established guidelines say is standard at my stage of disease. It's highly effective for the tumor type I have. I'd even done my planning scan for that the day after the PET scan (and got some cool tattoos; I'm a real bad boy now!). I was happy that we were moving forward... or so it seemed, until this.

The oncologist's reasoning did make sense. He reminded me that radiation is only applied to a specific area of the body. If any cancer cells had broken off the tumor and spread outside the radiation field, they wouldn't be killed. They would eventually grow new tumors and I'd need chemotherapy anyway. Double the side effects, including long term risks. So why not just go after it with the whole body treatment first (chemo is injected into the bloodstream) and knock it out for sure?

Let me tell you that since this thing popped up last month, I've been hoping and praying that radiation would be the recommended treatment. Radiation is difficult to go through, but nothing compared to the way that chemotherapy ravages your body. With radiation, I'd be able to continue working pretty much every day; with chemo, I'd be lucky to to average a day or two a week, if that. Chemo was not the answer I wanted to hear from the docs (though obviously I'll do it if I have to).

Vacation was on the brain
I got a call the next day from the radiation doc. He had looked at the images from my PET scan and completely disagreed with the report. He said he saw tumor show up on both places. It was there. The radiologist who'd written the report, it turns out, was now on vacation. Yeah, I guess he was just flying through his last set of scans to report on. I hope any other patients in that batch had someone else look at their images too!

This actually made me feel better. I had looked at my images the night before, and thought I might have seen something faint in the general area of concern. I'm not an expert, so I figured I was just being paranoid. Guess not! Here's where I think it is (but I could be wrong):

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Click on either of the above to see an animation of all PET/CT slices through that axis.

To make a long story somewhat shorter, over the past week I've had the insanely difficult task of deciding whether to continue towards radiation, or stop all that and do chemotherapy instead. This was 100 times harder than my decision to go with surveillance earlier this year. Now I actually have to pick a poison. Both treatments have different drawbacks and long term risks. Neither is ideal. Mega stress.

Adding to that is the fact that my urologist and my primary doctor both decided to recommend chemotherapy, so it was 3 doctors against 1 in favor of chemo. Not what I wanted to hear! I respect and trust all four doctors immensely, and making either choice would be going against some doctor's recommendation.

The reversal
Late last week I began trying to wrap my brain around the idea of losing my hair and putting my body through a much more grueling and punishing form of treatment. If radiation therapy is a one-day IronMan Triathlon, chemotherapy is the three-week Tour de France. But then came a reprieve. My doctors had brought my case to a tumor board, a panel of other doctors not involved in the case, to make a recommendation. The board recommended radiation. Then, at the eleventh hour, my urologist changed his mind. He decided that radiation was preferable after all.

Hallelujah! The roller coaster is officially stopped. I can get off now. I can go with my gut instinct and not feel like I'm making a big mistake by ignoring the advice of three good doctors.

So tomorrow I am scheduled to begin radiation therapy which will last for 4½ weeks. It'll be rough, with some nausea and lots of fatigue, but I'll get through it. With any luck, I won't ruin my nearly 12-year streak of not vomiting. And I hope the super power I get is pretty cool.

Round 2

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 18:47:33 GMT

Results from the June CAT scan are in. The doctors still want to make absolutely sure that it is what they think it is, but it appears that either radiation or chemotherapy will be in my very near future. A new 1.9cm mass was found in the left periaortic lymph node, right about where they would expect it to be based on past history. It was not evident in the April or February scans.

Stage IIA Seminoma. This is the best case for Stage II, with 90 to 95% complete cure rate, depending on who you talk to. Fantastic odds. And yet, this has not prevented me from feeling extraordinarily stressed and downright depressed since receiving the news earlier today.

With the initial diagnosis and treatment, I pretty much took everything in stride. I think I even surprised myself at how well I handled it. This one, for some reason, has me pretty rattled right now. Despite continuing outstanding odds of full recovery. Ugh.

As it is very necessary when battling any disease, I'll work on regaining my optimism in the morning after some much needed rest.

What guitar heroes sound like to normal people

Tue, 20 May 2008 11:32:02 GMT

I came across these videos on Youtube a while ago and couldn't stop laughing. Somebody did a masterful set of parodies by overdubbing their own deliberately bad playing over videos of several different guitar legends, like Joe Satriani, Steve Vai, Eddie Van Halen, Eric Clapton, and more. Sounds like walking into a Guitar Center store.

The guy who did these must be quite good in reality, as his timing with what's happening on screen is impeccable. I think that's what makes these videos really work, and so hilarious. That, and I love the fact that the drums only come in when they're actually shown on screen.

I figure this must be what guitar heroes sound like to people who aren't into their brand of music. Check out a couple, along with the originals for comparison:

Parodies:

Originals:

There are many more of these parodies to check out: just start surfing the related videos and you'll find 'em.

Thinking Outside The Box

Sun, 18 May 2008 10:56:45 GMT

I was browsing the Demotivators at despair.com the other day (my personal favorites are Defeat and Failure)when I noticed you can now make your own posters at their website. Immediately a photo shoot from about 6 years ago came to mind, for the oft-used motivation phrase Thinking Outside The Box.

Which combo makes the best demotivator?

Picture/text 1:

Picture/text 2:

And I'm thinking there have to be some good captions for these photos: