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This past Tuesday night, millions of people watched as I appeared alongside Andy Richter on The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien. How did I pull off such a feat? Read on to find out how you, too, could become very briefly famous. Or be lazy and skip to the bottom to bask in my glorious fame.
There are two possible ways to appear on The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien. The first way is to become famous ahead of time and receive an invitation to be a guest on the show. This is hard. Really hard. For you, dear reader, I would dare to say it's impossible. It's not gonna happen, so forget about that pipe dream. Do what I did instead.
Get Your Tickets
First, I requested free tickets via email about a month and a half ago. You are instructed to choose four potential dates, and tickets are randomly assigned to requestors via a lottery system. You may request up to 4 tickets this way.
A few weeks later, I received an email stating that we had been chosen to receive tickets to the June 23rd taping of the show. The email included instructions to arrive at the Universal Studios gate no later than 3:30 p.m. on the day of the show, and that even with tickets, admission is not guaranteed. Translation: arrive early.
You can also skip the ticket request process, simply arriving on the morning of the show to request standby tickets. Standby ticketholders have the lowest priority, after anyone holding ticket reservations. Odds of getting in will be lower, but this is the best way to see a particular guest who will be on the show that day. This is because reserved tickets must be requested far enough in advance that the guest list for a particular date won't be known yet.
Wait In Line
We arrived in Universal City around 11:30 a.m. and had a quick lunch. We then headed to the parking structure at Lankershim and Universal Hollywood. This was the recommended parking according to the show's website, and there were plenty of signs for Tonight Show parking directing us there, too. $10 - not too bad.
Plenty of signs directed us to the audience entrance for The Tonight Show, about a quarter mile down the road. We arrived in line at about 12:15, and were the 9th and 10th people in line. Cool. Guaranteed front row seats, right?
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The outdoor waiting area is pretty nice, with plenty of shade and benches to sit on. It basically runs along Lankershim Blvd between James Stuart Ave and Muddy Waters Dr. I do hope they get better covering before the short rainy season rolls around next year. There's no way the area would stay dry, and waiting for a few hours in the rain doesn't sound like much fun to me.
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Over the next hour and half, the line gradually lengthened as more early birds joined the wait. At some point, they opened a small kiosk at the back of the line, where you could buy overpriced Tonight Show t-shirts or $5 refrigerator magnets.
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Shortly before 2:00, a few NBC employees came out to hand out wristbands and tickets. To get yours, you needed to show the reservation email printout and your photo ID. Standby ticketholders were told to wait at the back, behind all reserved ticketholders. We were then led around the corner where we waited along James Stuart Ave, just outside Universal Studios Gate 2. No benches here.
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About 5 or 6 times over the next two hours, groups of people were led onto the Universal Studios lot for bathroom breaks. Potty-goers were instructed to stay in a single-file line at all times, and a headcount was done before and after each trip to make sure nobody had sneaked off into the Universal Studios back lot. I wonder if anyone has ever gotten away?
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The restrooms used were the very same that were featured in an episode of the show last week.
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As we got closer to "go" time, I noticed a line forming across the street, on the other side of James Stuart Ave. At first I thought it was unrelated to ours, but then some of the NBC pages who were babysitting our line went over there to take them on a bathroom break. So, what was the deal with this line? Were they VIPs who were going to get in before us? Would they ruin our chance at guaranteed front row seats?
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Tension mounted as the time to enter the studio drew near. Which group would move first? We, the dedicated fans who had spent the last 3½ hours waiting, earning our rightful seats? Or those "special" people across the street, who'd nonchalantly arrived at the last minute?
We were told to line up, single-file. Instructions were given - metal detectors, security, no cameras, blah, blah. Messages came across on the walkie-talkies held by NBC employees. Neither line moved. We listened intently to each new walkie-talkie message, hanging on every garbled and distorted word. Which message would be the go-ahead to start moving our line? Most importantly, would it come soon enough? Would it happen before they started moving toward the studio?
And then, finally, movement. We were moving. I glanced across the street. They stood fixed. Yes! We would be first into the studio! The long, hard hours spent in line would indeed pay off.
Have a Seat
Entering the studio was a very precise and controlled process. Once past the metal detectors, you walked through a small tunnel/hallway much like at a sports arena, dumping you right on the stage. Directly in front of you was the center of the stage where Conan performs the monologue. To your left, the desk and couches where interviews are conducted; to your right, the area where The Max Weinberg Seven Tonight Show Band sits. Behind you and up the stairs, the audience seating.
Here's a view of the main entrance/exit, looking from the front of the stage, back toward the audience.
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These three shots from an episode last week give you a better idea of what it would look like leaving the studio after the show. The last one shows the area where metal detectors were setup as we came in from the outside.
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As we entered, each group of people was directed to their seats by a series of NBC pages. The first page, standing in Conan's monologue spot, would point you to the left or to the right. The next page would lead you up the stairs and to your seats. There was no picking and choosing - you sat where you were told to sit.
This can be problematic for someone who hopes to be on TV. The best spot for this is the first row in the far left section, behind the podium where announcer Andy Richter stands during the show. Any time Andy is on camera, the first row or two of audience members is clearly visible behind him. But as we entered, audience members were being alternately directed to fill all four sections equally. Because this is somewhat random, simply being at the front of the line does not guarantee seating in the section behind Andy.
The first group into the studio was directed to the front row of the center left section - fantastic seats, but not much chance of being on TV. The next group went to the center right section. Then we came in. The page pointed left. Yes! The second page, standing on the stairs, directed us to the far left section. Victory! We were right behind Andy!
Only one potential problem: because we were so close to the front of the line, we were the first two people in this row. This means we had the two farthest seats to the left, potentially getting us cropped out of those crucial Andy camera shots. The absolute best seats are clearly in the center of this section and row. My wife graciously took one for the team, sitting in the farthest seat so that I'd have a slightly better chance of squeezing into the frame. And it paid off for me, as you'll see later on (thanks!).
The studio was kept very cold inside. This is probably so the performers don't get too hot under the lights and in their suits. Bring a light jacket or sweater if you think this might bother you.
The Pre-Show
Once everyone was seated (this took a while, considering that all 380 audience members had to get through the metal detectors at the entrance) Jimmy Pardo came out to explain the applause sign, having us practice responding to it, and warm up the crowd. He talked to a couple of audience members and made jokes about what they said. Moderately funny, I guess.
While all of this was going on, the entire studio and stage area was abuzz with activity. Crew members and NBC suits were constantly entering and exiting the area, setting up and testing equipment, putting papers and cue cards in place, talking on their headsets, and generally looking important. I couldn't tell you what half of them actually do to contribute to the show, but each one must be something essential, judging by the way they all walked around looking focused and urgent.
One guy had the job of filling Conan's mug with Diet Coke (Coke for CoCo?). Another emptied half a packet of Orbitz gum onto the camera a few feet in front of us - presumably for the cameraman. Very minty smelling. It's amazing how many people it takes to pull off a one-hour show like this. And I'm sure many more were never seen by the audience.
Finally, Pardo introduced Andy Richter, who came out and introduced the members of The Tonight Show Band (the best band in television). They played a song, with band members LaBamba (trombone), Jerry Vivino (saxophone), and Mark Pender (trumpet) walking through the audience as they played. The song ended with Mark Pender playing and holding a single note on his trumpet for literally about 2 or 3 minutes, as he walked through the audience, using a circular breathing technique. Incredibly impressive!
It's Showtime!
Towards the end of Pender's long note, somebody began walking around the stage area holding up a single finger, indicating 1 minute to show time. The band quickly finished the song and everyone ran to their places. The countdown began, with the last few seconds in silence before Max Weinberg's trademark drum fill to start the Tonight Show theme. The applause sign lit up and the crowd came to life as Andy Richter began the announcements. Monitors overhead showed the now familiar opening graphics just as they would be seen later that evening on TV. The entire audience was on their feet by the time Conan O'Brien entered the stage from behind the curtain.
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We were both featured on national TV during the opening standing ovation.
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(check out the super secret hidden door in the above image)
The first thing that struck me during the monologue was that the volume level on Conan's microphone was surprisingly low; the same was true of Andy's and all the guests' microphones too. If the crowd was making any noise (laughter, applause), you couldn't hear what he was saying. I presume that's done to avoid too much of an echo effect, but it was unexpected when compared to the TV mix where you always hear him prominently at home. Kind of made it seem like he was farther away than he really was at times. Then again, maybe we were just sitting in an acoustic dead spot.
I was lucky enough to get into a few shots during the monologue, but that bastard Andy Richter was rude enough to stand in front of Bev.
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Didn't he know there was a show going on??
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The Tonight Show Band played a song during each commercial break, for the entire duration of the break. The show is taped (not really - it's actually recorded digitally to hard drives now, as Conan himself demonstrates) in real-time, including space for commercials. I suppose this makes it easier to get the timing exactly right, rather than trying to edit it together in the short 2 hours or so between the end of taping and airing on the east coast.
During each break, all sorts of people milled around the stage area - talking, setting up cue cards, moving cameras into place, etc. Conan often walked around and talked to Jeff Ross (executive producer), Mike Sweeney (head writer), Andy, or the guests. Andy went and sat on the couch to talk to the guests during one or two breaks.
After the first commercial break, I was once again featured prominently on national TV during a comedy bit between Conan and Andy.
You can watch that segment here on the Tonight Show website.
The remainder of the show was relatively uneventful. Oh, I guess some actual famous people came on and talked to Conan, or something.
That's a Wrap
To close, the band played the standard end-of-the-show theme that you hear on TV, but Conan didn't sing along for the audience as he'd been known to do on the old Late Night program. The singing was never aired, but apparently he did it every night on the old show. Too bad they didn't carry that over to The Tonight Show.
After the show was done, Conan and the guests did three quick promos for lead-ins from the local news. He would say things like "Hey everyone, we've got a great show tonight with [names of guests]. It's all coming up, right after the news." They did all three promos in quick succession, probably taking less than 2 minutes total. Even then, Conan managed to be pretty funny in between takes.
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Elvis Costello, Billy Mays, Anthony Sullivan, Lisa Kudrow
Now the show was officially over. All of the performers waved to the crowd and made their exits. Most of them walked out the door right in front of us (the real door, not the secret one).
You can watch the entire episode here on NBC's website. We appear on camera at times 0:55, 5:05, 10:03, and 16:52.
All in all, a great way to spend an afternoon becoming microfamous (I just coined that term - all rights reserved; any preexisting references to the term are purely coincidental and/or figments of your imagination).
