ID:47897
 
http://www.reddit.com/comments/6uqq3/ dear_reddit_we_should_buy_a_red_crowbar_and_send/

The folks at Reddit.com are buying the scientists at CERN their very own Half-Life crowbar, in case things take a turn for the worse. Let's just hope there's a plucky young go-getter who knows how to use it!


Lol, my crowbar's black. I MEAN what nerds lol <_< *ahem*
Both Gordon Freeman and the G-Man have been spotted at CERN.
If the need arose for it, a crowbar would be my choice for melee weapon in a Zombie apocalypse.

Mainly because, it's an effective blunt weapon, and I can pry things open with it. Win - win.
Tiberath wrote:
Mainly because, it's an effective blunt weapon, and I can pry things open with it. Win - win.

But you have to be very close to the zombie for it to be effective.

I'd say a two-handed claymore would be better since you have a whole lot more distance, power, and control. Not to mention they're fucking badass.
SuperAntx wrote:
Tiberath wrote:
Mainly because, it's an effective blunt weapon, and I can pry things open with it. Win - win.

But you have to be very close to the zombie for it to be effective.

I'd say a two-handed claymore would be better since you have a whole lot more distance, power, and control. Not to mention they're fucking badass.

They're also much heavier, clumsy, and they require two hands. Kind of boned if you need to open a door while fighting off Zombies, don't you think?
Tiberath wrote:
SuperAntx wrote:
I'd say a two-handed claymore would be better since you have a whole lot more distance, power, and control.

No, not really.

There's no way a two handed sword would be easier to control than a single handed crow bar.

For instance, there's weight. Crowbar would weigh a lot less than a two handed sword.

Power, sure, it has the advantage, but you don't need additional power to crush the skull of the undead. And there's always the chance that your sword will slice into the bone of the skull and become stuck. You're also pretty boned then too.

And then there's length. If you're far enough away to use a two handed sword, you might as well just use a pistol. Your Melee weapon needs to be a nice, close-combat single handed weapon.
Tiberath wrote:
There's no way a two handed sword would be easier to control than a single handed crow bar.

Have you ever held a crowbar? They certainly aren't small or light enough for single handed combat. That is, unless you're in a video game.

Something more like a police baton would be much more effective for the point you're trying to make.

Also, swordsmen have existed for centuries. All it takes is a little practice and you'll be an effective zombie killer in no time. The same can't be said for the crowbar.

Power, sure, it has the advantage, but you don't need additional power to crush the skull of the undead. And there's always the chance that your sword will slice into the bone of the skull and become stuck. You're also pretty boned then too.

Large, straight two-hand swords are designed for crushing blows rather than slicing. The edges are relatively dull compared to the sharp tips meant for thrusting. In the rare occasion the sword does get stuck in bone it could be easily dislodged with a quick jerk.

If you're in a situation where a mere second dislodging your weapon means you're zombie food, it's safe to say you'd be screwed with any other weapon too.

And then there's length. If you're far enough away to use a two handed sword, you might as well just use a pistol. Your Melee weapon needs to be a nice, close-combat single handed weapon.

That statement is irrelevant. The point of using a melee weapon is to conserve ammunition and the exact same thing can be said against crowbars.

For general outdoor melee a sword would be much better than a crowbar. For indoors and small urban areas I wouldn't want to use either.
I don't know what crowbars you've been handling. But I don't have an issue with lifting, swinging, carrying or using a crow bar.

SuperAntx wrote:
Large, straight two-hand swords are designed for crushing blows rather than slicing.

You have absolutely no manoeuvrability with said sword. You're caught in a narrow passage... what do you do? You have no room to control that big chunk of iron/steel. At least a crowbar can be wielded to give you the mildest of chances. Not to mention, you have a spare hand free to move junk that's in your road as you're trying to run.

SuperAntx wrote:
That statement is irrelevant. The point of using a melee weapon is to conserve ammunition and the exact same thing can be said against crowbars.

Conserving ammunition comes second to self-preservation. You use your pistols when and where you can. The trick is: don't be caught without ammo. You never, never risk close-combat with a zombie unless it's absolutely 100% necessary.

As for the size of a crow bar verses a two-handed sword. A crow bar from memory, isn't longer than my arm. My sword (which is one handed), is longer than my arm. You would not be able to aim a pistol, nor would you have time to aim a pistol, if the zombie was a crowbars length away.

SuperAntx wrote:
Also, swordsmen have existed for centuries. All it takes is a little practice and you'll be an effective zombie killer in no time. The same can't be said for the crowbar.

Yeah, they started using practice swords when they were ten (if not younger) and they were being taught by people who were already masters of swordsmanship. Constant sparing and years of mental training isn't exactly possible in a world full of undead people trying to eat you.

Besides, what are you going to do... challenge it to a duel? You want to kill it, quickly and effectively. A smack to the head with a steel bar will be far more effective than a very heavy sword. Ninja movies don't work for zombie apocalypse, sir.

SuperAntx wrote:
For general outdoor melee a sword would be much better than a crowbar. For indoors and small urban areas I wouldn't want to use either.

Far better chance with a crowbar in both areas IMO.

SuperAntx wrote:
If you're in a situation where a mere second dislodging your weapon means you're zombie food, it's safe to say you'd be screwed with any other weapon too.

If there's only two zombies, and your sword gets lodged, you're boned. If there's two zombies and I smack one with a crowbar, that doesn't get lodges, because I'm not using the hook side to bash it, I can quickly and effectively smack out the second and be on my way. You're however, dead. Or at least you will be when I take my crowbar to your head once you've tried to take a bite out of my arm.
uhhh...guys. if there is a zombie apocalypse, where you would get a two handed claymore?
Propaganda wrote:
uhhh...guys. if there is a zombie apocalypse, where you would get a two handed claymore?

The same place you get the rest of your zombie survival gear.
Propaganda wrote:
uhhh...guys. if there is a zombie apocalypse, where you would get a two handed claymore?

Out of my roommate's closet. Two handed swords, one handed swords, daggers, extendomatic police batons, and all swords of deadly close range weapons. Some people actually come prepared for the zombie hordes. Heck, he even has a few trench coats for that badass factors.
Although my sword and trench-coat combo look cool. Alas, they're going to get me killed if I attempt to use them in the scenario.

Sword is useless and coat will get tangled. Alas.
The trench-coat adds decent bite armor, and makes it hard for the zombie to tell where the person is inside of the coat.

Light swords and police batons work great. The light swords allow you to lob off their head with a little swinging room, and the baton will smash a skull.
Danial.Beta wrote:
The trench-coat adds decent bite armor, and makes it hard for the zombie to tell where the person is inside of the coat.

But, they also add a place for the zombies to grab. My zombie outfit is a set of MARPAT camos*. Still badass, but I won't look like an idiot when the zombies are grabbing at me

*- It's not available in commercial production, but it helps to have friends in the Corps :).

Just so you know, even knights didn't just go around basing heads. The claymore is an elegant weapon used more like a bo staff than barbarian skull crusher. Step into a zombie horde with a claymore and you'll quickly learn why Hollywood sword fighting doesn't work in real life.

If you need a weapon, you're already boned. Smart people run.
And the crowbar isn't a weapon. It can be used as one, but that's not it's purpose.