General silliness

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ID:1892298
 
Jul 9 2015, 10:18 am (Edited on Jul 10 2015, 1:16 pm)
*Browsing internetz

*Sees random jokes about code and binary

*Laughs like an idiot


Thinks to self :

Hahaha!

oh wait..

Oh no..

I've crossed the bridge now..

I am actually laughing at stuff that would make an ordinary human being confused, angry and lost.

I can't be the only one..

Let's do a thread about programmer jokes!

_____________________________

So there you have it. What's your favorites joke(s) about programming or tech in general?

To start the chuckle fest, 3 of my favorites :







Jul 9 2015, 10:26 am
 
if(condition) {
   quack_quack();
}


is the only way to code. anyone who says otherwise is of inferior skill and knowledge. this is a fact and if you dont agree with it well you can just go back to school chump
Jul 9 2015, 11:10 am
In response to Doohl
Doohl wrote:
> if(condition) {
>    quack_quack();
> }
>

is the only way to code. anyone who says otherwise is of inferior skill and knowledge. this is a fact and if you dont agree with it well you can just go back to school chump

*coughs* There's an achievement test and an intelligence test. If you had to choose one, which one would you rather pass?

I don't know about you, but I'd rather have a high achievement score. I program however the program is started. In Unity, they apparently do everything this way:

public void ThisIsAName()
{
     foo();
}


Even though their classes start this way (practically like they're contradicting themselves... everyone of them... I even watch some of them push that brace down a line at the beginning of their videos):
public class FartsNGiggles : MonoBehaviour {

}


However, in my recent project we have come to an agreement, for the sake of sanity and neatness, that the two of us would do:
public void ThisIsAName() {
     if(pee) {
          foo();
     }
}


Not a single if statement doesn't have braces. Why? Well, when the times comes that you need to write another line under that if statement, it has become apparent that you really don't feel like dealing with the IDE's "help" when it moves your braces, and you don't even feel like adding them to begin with. This discourages the advancement of programming, even if it's for a few seconds.

Additionally, we space out code to the best of our abilities. This way it's easier on the eyes and you can focus on sections that actually have something to do with each other.

--


So, I wouldn't say that doing it one way at all times is the best of ideas. A lot of my professors actually brought up that we'd have to learn how to program the way they want us to since it teaches us how to work as a team. Consistency is neat. :P

I think your fact is an opinion!
Jul 9 2015, 11:17 am
In response to Doohl
Doohl wrote:
> if(condition) {
>    quack_quack();
> }
>

is the only way to code. anyone who says otherwise is of inferior skill and knowledge. this is a fact and if you dont agree with it well you can just go back to school chump

Doing it the other way around adds weird whitespace and makes things seem needlessly long.
Jul 9 2015, 1:04 pm
Not sure why, I just always liked
if(foo)
{
   bar()
}

Unless the standard syntax of a project required otherwise.
Jul 9 2015, 1:10 pm
I wouldn't usually use a multi-line comment like that. Usually I'd use single-line comments. Multi-line comments are for paragraphs and descriptions, so I'd usually use those near the beginning of the source code to describe in detail what the module (or source) does.

Oh and:
if (this) {
    return that;
}
all the way
Jul 9 2015, 1:19 pm
I guess I'm just the kind of programmer who likes a lot of white space. Meh.
Jul 9 2015, 1:26 pm
In response to Kats
I bet you're one of these tossers
switch(condition)
{
  case 1:
    {
       stuff
       break ; 
    }
  case 2:
    {
       more stuff
       break;
    }
/*
...
*/
}
Jul 9 2015, 1:28 pm
I don't horribly mind an opening brace after a function or class definition. (BYOND's backend code is really inconsistent on this.) But after an if, while, or switch it should be a felony.

Then again, I'm from the school that says putting a space between if and the opening parenthesis is obnoxious.
Jul 9 2015, 1:38 pm
A designer, programmer, and manager walk into a bar.

The designer takes a look around and says: "This bar isn't very functional. If they knocked down that wall and added a sink at the end, they could have more seating and more customers."

The programmer ponders this. "You're right, but that's a load-bearing wall, so it would need some extra support with a column. I'm sure a skilled contractor could make it work. The plumbing looks a little outdated, so I think they're going to need a good plumber to add a sink. They'll need some electrical work as well. But with a good contractor with a crew of four, they could probably make those changes with, oh, $100,000 and two weeks."

The manager looks at everything and does some calculations on a napkin. "I heard you can find electricians and plumbers for barter sometimes on Craigslist, so they could be paid in free drinks, so that would save the owner some money. So if they did that, and got a contractor with a crew of eight guys, they could get all this knocked out for $60,000 in three days, tops. But they should add a stage for live music over in the corner. That won't take very long."
Jul 9 2015, 2:11 pm
XKCD is a source of hilarity. When I write papers for college, I almost always throw an extra citation to an XKCD comic somewhere on the page just to see if my professor is paying attention.













Jul 9 2015, 3:23 pm
In response to Kats
Kats wrote:
I guess I'm just the kind of programmer who likes a lot of white space. Meh.

I'm one of those as well. Usually with bulk variable definitions I tend to have some hefty whitespace so that everything aligns perfectly in columns:

Taken from a source in BlitzMax I wrote:
Jul 9 2015, 3:27 pm
In response to Mr_Goober
That's just... obnoxious. It both bothers me and doesn't bother me at the same time. I think monospace font just makes everything better.
Jul 9 2015, 4:20 pm
In response to Lugia319
Jul 9 2015, 4:27 pm
There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that understand binary, those that don't, and those that weren't expecting this joke to be in base-3.
Jul 9 2015, 4:47 pm
Jul 9 2015, 5:11 pm
the best part about being a horrible programmer like me is sometimes you can write a large amount of code that won't compile, and then you hit compile, and dream maker just freezes for a good 30 seconds before bombarding you with 80 different errors.

fun times. the struggle was real.
Jul 9 2015, 5:36 pm
dennis ritchie
Jul 9 2015, 9:21 pm
In response to EmpirezTeam
Heh, besides slacking off while compiling, also add waiting for SS13 or a similar game to start up.
Jul 9 2015, 9:41 pm
http://www.toodarkpark.org/computers/humor/ shoot-self-in-foot.html

This made me chuckle, I feel like DM needs to be on this list.
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