The Dark Side

As my car pulled into the driveway, I noticed somethig odd. So there I was, preparing to anally rape a metroid when all of a sudden, the metroid shivered. It was quivering like jello. I prepped my cock and inserted it, noticing the jello like ease with which it slipped in. And then, I noticed my cock slowly go down because the metriod wasn't good enough, I need someone better, Someone like Beyonce. Turns out Beyonce was actually a radioactive mutant monkey from my mother's void-like sausage hole. Who knew? I was sitting there, contemplating this, while the monkey ripped off its bra and started dancing towards me. This would have been sexy if it were a women dancing; however, this was a monkey. I raced inside and grabbed my trusty rusty (penis) gun, and loaded it. I ran back outside, but by the time I was there, Beyon-monkey was making out with Brad Pitt. I instantly vomitted and fainted. When I woke up.... ...I saw a bright light. This light, as it normally happens in such cliche stories, was very likely the light which lead to Heaven. I whipped out my bible and instantly converted to Christian from Muslim. ...And nearly pissed my pants when... rape -man came towards me, penis outstretched, with BeyonceMonkey as his bondage-buddy. I flew backwards as quickly as possible, searching for my penisgun, but found they'd taken it. Err, cut it off! Onoes! I quickly began to masturbate for all my penis-stump was worth. I also happened to discover that your balls are very sensitive while doing so, as I had no penis to masturbate with; but that is aside from the point. Anyway, BeyonceMonkey and rape-man were coming at me! I quickly strained my brain and screamed "BRAIN BLAST" like an idiot child. At this point I grew a mis-shapen penis, jacked off, and fired my sperm-beam upgrade (which I stole from Samus) at the sex-starved duo. I continued rapid-firing, hoping I wasn't shooting blanks; if I was, I wouldn't get the +50 ATK bonus of getting Beyonkey pregnant. At this point, I realized there were no numbers rising from Beyonkey's head. I wasn't doing any damage, she wasn't a virgin--I wasn't strong enough. So I went supersaiyan and... ...charged up a kamehameha, just like the cool kids did in school yesterday. I charged it and fired it, a glistening yellow beam from my twisted dick, and it blasted Beyonkey full of holes. I turned my attention to rapeman, penis still erect. I turned into a Fighter class, my penis growing larger. I bitchslapped rapeman a few times, and watched the damage numbers fly like popcorn. I went past their corpses into the light...and woke up, in my bed. THE END.

It was a dark and stormy night. Um it was dark and stormy clouds everyone but I had a flash light so i was able to find the girl hole so i won! Yet the flash light battery was dieing and I didn't have extra batteries I didn't no what to do but they were recharable batteries. I was scared, so I panicked. What if I don't find the girl hole. I'll be a virgin forever! I became very angry but the batteries were finish charging so i cut back on the flash light to find the hole but she wasn't there. "That bitch!" I yelled out the open door to my apartment. She ran out on me, just when I was about to experience my first girl hole... I wonder where she went, But i didn't evn know her name, To think that i wanted to experience the hole and don't even know the girl name, But i only wanted sex. I quickly put on all off my clothes and chased after the girl which name i didnt no because she was after all only my sex toy. But it was so dark I could barely see her, am I overage or is she even hot to being with, time will tell. Thinking that she isn't hot or hot isn't a problem the problem was that I was hot up to have sex with her and didnt want to masterbate that night. I don't know*mastubates beserkely* but i was making god cry, so i decided to stop. i walked into the kitchen to fix myself up a sandwich, but to my dismay i found the jar of cool whip had been emptied! who was responsible for this? But then I finally found her and brought her back to my house a slipped my magic stick into her, But to think all this time it was a donut i wanted to have sex with....