Don't let the picture fool you... these little suckers look disgusting but I almost guarantee that, if you are willing to spend the good 45 minutes to an hour it takes to prepare these dinner nachos, you won't be disappointed afterward. (With practice, you could probably finish them in the neighbourhood of 30 minutes.)

Basically, the other night, I said to my mom, "You know what we've never had? Real nachos. I mean, we've had microwaved chips with shredded marble cheese on top, but we've never had nachos with meat, lettuce, veggies... you know."

She knew what I meant but had no clue how to make some, so she asked me to go find some recipes online. I did... but, all I could find were either little granny nachos, with tomatoes and green bell peppers and cheese, or real macho nachos, with jalapenos, cayenne pepper, tabasco sauce... you name it.

Since I'm one who likes to compromise, I decided to take five recipes, blatantly thieve all of the ingredients from them, and reinterpret the results. As the picture shows, here's what I came up with.

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Spuzzy's Buzzy Nachowuzzies

Don't ask me how fattening this is, since I don't know. But, considering there's ground beef and bacon, I'd say "very".

2 tablespoons              Plain water
1/2 lb.                 Ground beef
1 teaspoon              Chili powder
1 teaspoon              Cayenne pepper powder
1/2 teaspoon            Salt
1/2 teaspoon            Dried, minced onion
1/2 cup                 Refried beans
1 ½ cups                Grated Cheddar cheese (I used both mild white and aged yellow)
1/2 cup                 Grated Montery Jack cheese
1/4 cup                 Finely diced onion
1                       Small jalapeno (finely chopped)
8                       Slices of bacon
1/2 cup                 Sliced olives (optional)
1/2 cup                 Mixed red/green bell pepper, chopped
2                       Whole tomatoes, diced
2 cloves                Garlic, finely chopped
1/2 cup                 Whole kernel corn
1 cup                   Shredded lettuce
                        A sprinkle of paprika
                        Your favourite brand of salsa
                        Sour cream
                        Guacamole (if desired)
                        Plenty of tortilla chips!

Brown ground beef over medium heat, crumbling as it cooks. Drain when no longer pink. Meanwhile, fry the bacon until it is crispy, then place onto paper towels to soak up the excess grease. After the beef is fully drained, transport it back to the pan and crumble the bacon between your palms into the beef. (Since your hands will get very greasy, it's advisable to wash your hands before moving on.)

Preheat the oven to 375º F (190º C). Add chili powder, cayenne powder, salt, dried onion, garlic, paprika, and water to the beef. Mix well and simmer for 10 minutes, stirring often, then take off of heat. Meanwhile, heat refried beans in a small saucepan over low heat. In addition, mix the two cheeses in a separate bowl.

Mix the diced onion, the olives, the bell pepper, the tomatoes, and the corn into another bowl.

When the refried beans are hot, take a spatula or spoon and spread a thin layer of the refried beans over tortilla chips, placing them one-by-one onto the bottom of a baking sheet or baking pan. Scatter half of the beef over all of the chips, making sure to spread it somewhat evenly. Then, scatter half of the vegetables from the bowl over the beef, again trying to maintain even coverage. Finally, sprinkle one half of the cheese from the bowl containing it over the nachos. Repeat the above process for one additional layer.

If desired, scatter some of the jalapeno over the top of the mess, then use any leftover cheese to cover the top of the pile. Place into the preheated oven for 10 minutes, or until the cheese is fully melted.

Spread lettuce over the top of the mix. Serve immediately with choice of salsa, sour cream, and/or guacamole. Serves 2.