For my game i created a story that explains a few things that the game is based around.. here it is.
The 3 God's of Morevern are comprised of Kulai,Lonaire and Goski. Kulai was good and created the land and water. Goski was also good and created 3/4 of the Elements. Lonaire was very demonic and created the remaining elements. For 200 Days they constructed Morevern and on the 201th day they rested. Goski and Lonaire got into an argument. The argument was whether to keep the newly constructed world for themselves or to create a lower life form that they watched over. Lonaire and his rage destroyed Goski for wanting to create a lower life form that they watched over. Kulai woke up from the commotion and slowly dragged his arms to Lonaire's neck and tried to strangle him. Kulai failed and the realms of englishai was split. Lonaire was sent to the fiery pits of Moreverns core. However Kulai's death was not in vain,He made 3 Wishes. Those wishes where that 25 Lower life forms where created and that Lonaire was locked in the fiery pits of Moreverns core. The last and final wish was that if one person constructed a skull from the three parts of Kulai's human formed skull they would be able to destroy Lonaire. Eventually 35 years later Lonaire found a way to escape the pits of Morevern. Lonaire tried to destroy the pieces of Kulai's skull but failed because the Town's people fought him back to his prison. However all of the town's people died during this and only 2 survived. 90 Years later the population was back and the world of Morevern was flourished with joy. Lonaire is still plotting a way out and will eventually find it. Kulai help Morevern if Lonaire escapes because the world will be hell once again..and from the transcript's found recently Morevern was destroyed 5 times,This is the Tale of Morevern...
The End?
I just wanted to know what the community thought of this and any constructive criticism. Also don't complain about my grammar i already know it sucks.
~>Jiskuha
ID:187391
 Dec 19 2004, 9:07 pm
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It sounds very nice, and I didn't get bored while reading it. Though, to me, 35 years seems kind of early for an escape. Usually when I think of a clash between Gods and what-not, I think of it over hundreds or thousands of years, not 35. Same goes with the population, maybe not even using an exact number would be nice? I don't know, I'm not much of a writer myself. Looks good!
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I agree with the time line, usually gods and stuff start off as reality, then history, then legend then myth.
I would suggest something like "Decades later" or something. Secondly, I'd like to know WHY the skull would destory him. I mean, you could of choosen from alot of different ways to kill him, how would constructing a skull destory some sort of god like figure? This is your story, and your game, and it sounds like a good game at that. Me though, Id use something else, like, one Kulai's eyes was formed into a jewel and eventully shattered, but, you could reunited the pieces to form a indestrutable prison to hold the dark one in. Its kind of like a soul stone from D&D. =P | |
Elation wrote:
A gene pool from just two people? Yeah, all those descendants of Adam and Eve were pretty rough ;) | |
Flick wrote:
Elation wrote: True, you could argue that we all come from one living creature/macromolecule at the bottom of the ocean (pretty impressive to spawn a planet, I'd say)- I mean, me having the same (original) mum as you? (Maybe that's a reason not to argue or flame in the forums- we're all brothers here...) But anyway, we've had millions of years to grow apart- you, a scary giant, me- a weakling short person. 90 years isn't long for those villagers. | |
Maybe the Morevernian gestation period is only two weeks. Maybe they live on a planet which follows a much wider orbit around their sun, so years are much longer. Maybe their DNA is different. Maybe they don't have DNA. Maybe they reproduce by budding. Of course, there is always the possibility that they are all inbred. :P
There are also many people who believe that Adam and Eve were only created a few thousand years ago, not millions. (No, I'm not one of them.) Point being, it's a game based in a fantasy world. Pretty much anything is possible. | |
Still, I'd rather play as a genetically strong warrior than a *warning, may find this offensive* inbred hillbilly.
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Elation wrote:
me having the same (original) mum as you? Damn, that really puts a damper on momma jokes. :-( | |
HavenMaster wrote:
Elation wrote: It doesn't stop my illogical brother. | |
Jiskuha wrote:
The three gods of Morevern are Kulai, Lonaire, and Goski. Kulai was angelic and created the lands and waters. Goski was also angelic and created three-fourths of the Elements. Lonaire was very demonic and created the remaining elements. For 200 days they constructed Morevern and on the 201st day they rested. Goski and Lonaire got into an argument. The argument was whether to keep the newly constructed world for themselves or to create a lower life form that they watched over. Lonaire and his rage destroyed Goski for wanting to create a lower life form . Kulai awoke from the commotion(sp?) and slowly dragged his arms to Lonaire's neck and tried to strangle him. Kulai failed and the realms of Englishai were split. Lonaire was sent to the fiery pits of Morevern's Core. However, Kulai's death was not in vain. He made three wishes. Those wishes were that 25 lower life forms were to be created, and that Lonaire was locked in the fiery pits of Morevern's Core. The last and final wish was that if one person were to construct a skull from the three parts of Kulai's human-formed skull they would be able to destroy Lonaire. Eventually, 35 years later Lonaire found a way to escape the pits of Morevern. Lonaire tried to destroy the pieces of Kulai's skull but failed because the Town's people fought him back into his imprisonment. However, all of the town's people died during this and only two survived. 90 Years later, the population was back and the world of Morevern flourished with joy. Lonaire is still plotting a way out and will eventually find it. Kulai will help Morevern if Lonaire escapes because the world will become a living Hell once again... And from the transcript's found recently Morevern was destroyed five times, This is the Tale of Morevern... This is the polished version of your original post. It took me a little while, but you will thank me. | |
~>Volte